Chp 22 "Where it All Began"

Thanksgiving was right around the corner, this would be my first thanks giving with out Tony, but my first one with Shawn. Since seeing Tony at Gwyn's party, i really haven't thought much about it. I wish him the best of luck. But any who, it's been a lot of back and forth between which house we were going to celebrate the holiday, it with out a doubt i said my mom's. It's funny because neither Jay nor myself have met each other's parents. I was skeptical because i was unsure how she was going to perceive me, will she like me, will she be funny acting, t was just too many questions. And being the type of person my Dad is and knowing Jay's history and his lifestyle is not going to make him to found of Jay. But I know my mom is going to be supportive.


**(In the car)

LEAVING THE STUDIO


(Jay) "So look Bey, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we still haven't picked where it is we will be celebrating."


I was busy in my own world, so i wasn't really paying attention to Jay. I couldn't stop thinking about being in the studio and working on the next song, I had so many ideas, i just couldn't wait to record.


(Jay) taps Bey's leg "Aye you hear me?"


(Bey) "Huh" i said snapping out of my thoughts 


(Jay) "I saaaaid..." he was sounding a bit frustrated "We need to find out who's house we'll be at for the holiday?"


(Bey) "Oh yea, the holidays."i said trying to sound like i had been paying attention "We're going to my moms."


(Jay) "And when did we decide that?"


(Bey) "Well....i just think it well be more reasonable to spend time with my family since they're already in New York. And for Christmas we could go to your mom's."


(Jay) Starts to think "Thats sounds good, but mom was really excited about meeting you Bey. She tells me all the time about how much she can't wait to see you?"


(Bey) "Really?" i asked a bit thrilled


I had no idea Jay even mention me to his mom, i rarely ever talk to my mom about Jay and i do mean rarely.


(Jay) "Yea"


(Bey) "Hmmm i don't know Jay, mama already had things planned and Jersey is just s---"


(Jay) "OK, now your just making up excuses. And you act like we can't drive to Jersey let alone take a plane." He frustration was now leading to anger.


(Bey) Trying to be reasonable "Look, i'll tell you this.......how about we spend Thanksgiving morning with my parents and then we could go to your mom's and spend the rest of the day with them?"


(Jay) "That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea."


(Bey) "Ok, so it's settled. I tell mom and her know and you can tell yours."


(Jay) "Alright, cool."






(Jay's Thoughts)
Im glad Bey finally came around. Im so excited about her meeting my mom and the rest of the family. With the way things are going in our relationship i feel its only right. Beyonce just may very well be the love of my life. But who really knows. All i can do is just live in the moments that we share now.


Jay and I are now home from the studio. It was another late night so we both just fell fast asleep the minute we got home.








It was now morning and i had a lot on my agenda today. I had 3 interviews, a shoot, and a meeting with fashion team. I brought Ty along with me today. It been awhile since he and I hung we each other, outside of work. Although this was work that i was doing, i knew that Ty and I would be able to make some fun out of it. Ty has been my stylist for about as long as i could remember, but over the course of time he and I  grew a strong, solid, friendship. Jay on the over hand was busy as well with interviews, meetings, and what not. I always wonder how the 2 of us together can balance between our lifestyles. Both being at the top and both our careers, we are always busy, busy, busy. Especially me with all these projects i've been taking on like creating a line, filming movies, and now recording. I don't see how Jay does it because he owns a club, he has his own clothing line, his own record label, and was also part owner of a basketball team. I don't understand how the man does it but he does.

***(On the Phone with Jay)


(Jay) "What you up too right now?"


(Bey) "Well right now, I'm just leaving off the set of GMA, and I'm heading to go do this shoot, where they want to do a brief interview. Then after that i meet with the team."


(Jay) "Damn girl" he joked "Whats the longest break you have in between?"


(Bey) "I'll be available before i hit Jay Leno."


(Jay) starts to think "Alright, i think we can work something out. I have a business dinner in that area, around that time, so we can meet up then."


(Bey) "Hmm okay. Just text me or something when your finished with dinner."


(Jay) "Yup, but ima text you. Im getting ready to go check out this artist and shit to see what they about."


(Bey) "Okay Pop Pop."


(Jay) "Alright Ma." hangs up.


The shoot and the interview all together was short. It was one of those random interviews type of thing. And it seemed that they all just wanted know whats the deal between Jay and I. I just danced around their questions and spoke about other things. I was also in a whole other set of clothes by then. Shortly after leaving, i went straight to my meeting. I saw that was mom was there early, just like me so i went into my office to greet her. I was so exhausted , that i just feel down into my chair the minute i got in. She smiled as she seen me coming.

(Bey) "Hey mom...." i said all dry and exhausted.


(Ms. Tina) "Hey Baby, how are you feeling today?" 


(Bey) "Well I'm good, I'm just a little tired. I haven't been getting much sleep since i've been in the studio."


(Ms. Tina) "The studio?" she asked a bit shocked.


(Bey) "Yea, i told you about it a while ago." i said not knowing rather i really did or not.


(Ms. Tina) starst to think "I don't know, but you probably did." she said taking a sip of her water "So how's that working out."


(Bey) "It's been great, I'm never been so happy to do anything in my life."


(Ms. Tina) "Well how are you going to fit this in with your schedule, i mean you have shoots, interviews, the project for HOD, an---" she started rambling.


(Bey) "Mom, calm down, why are you tripping,  It's just one thing more i added to the list. I already know my plate is full but something extra want kill me." i interrupted.


(Ms. Tina) "Im not saying it like that, I'm just saying, you already have a lot your dealing with and with your little incidents from the i don't know if your mental health is going to be okay, I'm not trying to see you stress."


I was trying to stay calm up until her last 2 remarks. Just a few weeks ago she was all supportive and now all of a sudden it's likes she's against me. I bet you she's just tripping over Jay, but she's just going to have to get over it. I mean i love my mom but then again things with Jay are just too good. But i know she doesn't really feel like this. It's just my dad getting in her ear. He's been real bitter since he found out about me and Tony. Thats why we haven't been speaking. But at the end of the day they're gonna have to realize I'm gonna make my own decisions.


(Bey) getting up to leave the room "Look i already know what this is about and I'm not even trying to argue with you ma, so on that note I'm just about to leave."


My mom just sat there and stared at me as i walked off. I was upset and a little embarrassed that Ty had to witness that. I hate when me and my mom argue, but i know we are not going to always see eye to eye, but we do have to come to some type of understanding. Ty followed me as i walked. I went outside and began walking up the street, by Ty caught up to me.


(Ty) "Where you off too?"


(Bey) "No where, just getting some air."


(Ty) "Well we got about another 15 mins, you wanna go for a walk?"


(Bey) "Yea."


Ty and I walked a few minutes in silence before i started talking.


(Bey) "I can never win for a lose."


(Ty) "What you mean?"


(Bey) "Its like I'm always tryna keep everyone pleased, but no matter what no one is ever satisfied."


(Ty) "Like?"


(Bey) "Well growing up in this type of lifestyle it's like you always have be on your toes, whereas when I'm behind closed door, i can kick back and relax."


(Ty) nodding his head "Right?"


(Bey) "Like i just want to do something for me for a change, and it's hard when you have people in your corner who's against what you want."


(Ty) "Well I'm just tell you like this, at the end of the day your mother just wants whats best for you, and you know that you and your mother have never saw eye to eye on anything....."


(Bey) starts smiling "Yea i know."


(Ty) "You just have to have the courage enough to let her know but in a respectable way."


(Bey) nodding her head "Thats the hardest part though, because it's hard."


(Ty) "It's only hard if you make it hard. You are mother fucking BEYONCE KNOWLES" he said letting out a laugh "You can do anything."


(Bey) goes to hug Ty "Thanks Ty, i love you."


(Ty) smiling "I love you too."


Talking with Ty is great. He's so much older than me and wiser than me, and i really respect his words and what he says. I knew he had no clue why me and my mom got into it and why i was mad, i decided i would tell him. I briefly filled him in on the latest in my life, like Jay, and even Tony. Out of all the people Ty was wasn't shocked nor surprised to here about me and Tony's break up. He was actually the one who told me many years ago that he doesn't see me and Tony lasting and boy was he right. He was quite happy that i was with Jay and talked about how much he couldn't wait to meet him. Besides Kelly and Solo, he was the only other person who was team Shawn. We finished up on our walk and talk and headed back in for our meeting. By this time Angie and the rest of the team were here. The whole meeting it was so awkward. The tension between me and my mom was so thin. It made it hard for me to concentrate. The minute the meeting was over, i left. I had some time until my last gig with Leno, so until Jay texted me i was just gonna spare some time with Ty.


(Bey) "You wanna go do some looking around?"


(Ty) "When does your ass ever just look around, you can't do that to say your life." he joked.


(Bey) chuckling "Well lets just go shopping."


(Ty) "Alright, shopping it is."


(Bey) "Ju, where gonna go on Broadway and do a little shopping."


(Ju) "Ok."

We went on Broadway and did some shopping at this little shopping center called Laveria. I couldn't help but by anything. We spent a couple hours in the store, until Shawn texted me his dinner was over. I gathered up my things and left. No sooner after we were leaving that we were meeting up with Jay. I got out and switched cars and told Ju and Ty to go do something until i called for them. 


(Bey) getting in the car "How was your day?" i asked as i got in the car.


(Jay) "It was cool, it was just like any other day." he said as we pulled off.


(Bey) looking around "So where's my food?" i was being sarcastic, but i was actually serious.


(Jay) "What you mean where's you food?"


(Bey) "So what you go to dinner and don't bring me anything?" i joked "Oh i  see how it is."


(Jay) "Well you should have told me you were hungry, shit your ass tell me everything else." he mumbled.


(Bey) "Uhm what you say i didn't hear you sir, you were talking under your breath."


(Jay) chuckling "You are annoying" he said as he grabbed a big brown paper bag from behind the seat. It had some food in it.


(Bey) grabbing the bag "See you play too much. You had me thinking you really aint get me anything."


(Jay) "I knew you were gonna be hungry, with all that shit you had to do today. You barely had time to eat."


(Bey) opening up the container of food "Ohhh Filet mignon and a stuffed baked potato, Mm yummy."


(Jay) "Fatty." he said smirking at me.


(Bey) "OH hush up" i said as i took a piece out of my steak. "Mmm, and it's so juicy." i said side eyeing Jay. I wanted to play around with him a bit.


(Jay) "I know what you're trying to do and you aint slick."


(Bey) ignores Jay and continue eating "And the way it just slides down your throat, so warm and so smoothly." i said letting out a chuckle.


(Jay) licks his lips "Oh you must think I'm playing."


(Bey's thoughts)
The idea of me messing with Jay and making him horny is so funny. I love how he gets. He turns into a whole other person. He gets all aggressive and becomes so dominant, it's kind of hard to turn him down at times.




I took the fork out of my baked potato and started playing with it using my tongue. Jay was staring at me the whole time. Im surprised he continued to drive and not crash. Before i knew it we were pulling over and the car was stopping.


(Bey) "Why are stopping?" i asked trying to be all clueless.


(Jay) "Cuz we just about to chill out here for a min."


(Bey) "Oh we gonna chill huh?" i said we a look on my face.


(Jay) "Yup" he said stroking his chin.


Jay and I sat in the car for a few moments in silence, while i ate my food. I probably only ate about half of it. But sitting in the car with Jay, on a day like this really made me think about somethings. Like what if it ever comes a day where we want see each other? What will that be like? Since day 1 Jay and I have always been together rather it was randomly or planned. And when i wasn't around him i was missing him bad. It really made me appreciate more the time that Jay and I share together. I just didn't know if i would be able to handle it. But the more i thought about it, the more i felt like i was about to have some type of anxiety attack. I just sat there in the passenger seat staring off into the window, my head was racing.


(Jay) taps Bey's side "Whats wrong ma?"


(Bey) "Nothing, i just got a lot on my mind thats all."


(Jay) "Like what?"


I turned around in my seat, to reposition myself. I was becoming so emotional.


(Bey) "Well lately i've just been thinking a lot about what you've been telling me....." i said taking a deep breath "And now i see what you mean."


(Jay) grabs Bey's hand "You see Bey, thats why i tell you i need you to be with me. If we aint here with each other" he said as he flashed his hands in between us "then how could you expect us to really be there for each other."


(Bey) "I know Jay, I know."


(Jay) "Sometimes it's not just days, it could be weeks, or maybe even months."


(Bey) "That worries me. I thought it wouldnt be a problem because i already been through it but its different with you."


(Jay) "We just gonna have to find ways of communicating."


(Bey) "This sucks" i said in my whining voice.


(Jay) "I know but thats just how things are." he said putting his arm around me.


(Bey) "Jay i gotta tell you something."


(Jay) "And whats that?" he said as he stroked my hair.


I became real nervous. And i started to shake a little bit. But i couldn't fight past the feeling, although Jay knew i was in love him, it's a whole other feeling when you actually tell the person. There were no others words to say, i just need to tell him. I sat there laying with my head on his chest as he stroked my hair when i uttered the words, "I love you." And typical Jay just had to be silly about it.


(Jay) "Do you looooove me or Do you really loooooooove me?" he teased.


(Bey) "Yes fool" i said letting out a laugh. "How else do i need to say it?"


(Jay) chuckling "Alright, Alright, let me quit playing" he said as i began to sit up "..........I love you too."


(Bey) turning around to look at him "I know" i said as i leaned in to kiss him. 


(Jay) "Did you ever feel like it was too soon to say it or even feeling."


(Bey) adjusting in her seat "Well when i was growing up, my Dad always told me, that love has no time, because the minute he laid eyes on my mother he knew he was already in love."


(Jay) smiling "Oh is that right?"


(Bey) "Yup" i said as i smiled back.


(Jay) "Your pops sound like a pretty good dude."


(Bey) "He is and i know he would love you."


(Jay) "Whats not to love about me?" he joked.


(Bey) leaning in to kiss Jay "I can show you right now what is to love about you." i said all seductively. 


(Jay) pulls Bey more on the driver side and kisses her passionately "Hmp, well show me then." he whispered.


I was completely down for car sex, with no doubt in my mind. But I had got so caught up with Jay that i lost track of time and before i knew Ty was calling, reminding me we had to be at Jay Leno's studio in the next 30 mins. My mood was shot down. All i wanted to do was just spend my time with Jay, but duty calls. It's just something we have to deal with.


(Jay's Thoughts)
When Ty called Bey i got a little mad. All i wanted to do was just kiss my Bey, hold her, and tell her how much i love her. This girl is something special and her heart is so pure. She's exactly the kind of woman i need. Im not sure, how we're gonna do when we're away for long periods of time.


(Bey) "I gotta go Pop Pop....." i said as Julius and Ty pulled up.


(Jay) "How about i just stay and wait backstage for you, i mean i don't have anything else to do tonight."


(Bey) halfway out the car "What about the people, the staff? What are they gonna say?"


(Jay) "Who cares, let them think what they want. We dont have to answer to them and besides Leno is cool, thats like my dog." he said jokingly.


(Bey) starts to think "Yea you're right, that way i'll just ride with you back home."


(Jay) "So whats up, am i staying?"


(Bey) "Yea, just pull around." i said as i got out the car.


(Jay) "Okay, you go ahead and go with Ty and Ju and Ima meet yal in there."


(Bey) "Okay."

I was so happy Jay thought of the idea to stay. It made the night so much better. I went over and got in the car with Ty and Julius. As Jay went and circled around. We had met up a couple blocks around the corner, to avoid the paparazzi and the press, although i was going to have to deal with them anyway. I just didn't want them buzzing about me and Jay being together. When we got around to the studio, the press was lined up. We rushed in through the side door, where there were less of them. I made it up stairs and headed straight to my dressing room. We were running short on time. I changed into a dress i had planned on wearing for the show and had Ty spruce me up with hair and make-up. But nothing too fancy though. We were so in a rush that i didn't even have time to speak to Leno before the show. Even when i was walking out, i saw Jay coming in down the opposite end of the hallway and i barely got a chance to glance at him. But the feeling of knowing he was there kept me calm. I went on with the interview. It was pretty fun and exciting. He asked questions about me, and i opened up to him about recording and  he joked with me about some rumors he heard about Jay and I. But i handled it pretty well. After it was over Jay and I chatted it up with Leno after the show until we left. Once we made it home, we just lounged around in bed until we feel asleep, thinking about tomorrow and how's it gonna be.








..............Thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed. More to come. A lot more to come. Comments, Thoughts, Questions, Predictions. Let me know. Be sure to leave a name.