Chp 27 Where it Began

A couple of months have passed. And things between Jay and I have been great. Since the whole incident on his birthday, he and I haven't really had much of an argument. I mean we argue about little things, but nothing to really get mad over. We have slowly but surely been doing public appearances together. Since coming out about recording, and since featuring on Jay's album, the people and the press have demanded that Jay and I make public appearances together. We were skeptical at first because we didn't want to get looked at the wrong way in the public eye. I can see the headlines now....."Model Beyonce Knowles and rapper Jayz fake relationship stunt."I mean it's bad enough now, that we are already receiving a lot of negativity. But Jay and I agreed that the only time we'll be caught in the media is when it's actually in relation to one of us. Like for instance, Jay was hosting a New Years party at the 40/40, then he had a concert in the Madison Square garden where he and I performed together. Not to mention the grammy's and my premiere for the film Pink Panther. But even when asked about our relationship, we just say that we are just friends.

 The grammy's

 The Pink Panther Premiere

D.I.L PROMO

JAY'S CONCERT

As for my dad, he and I have made up and he is now managing me for my singing career, even though I'm under Jay's label. He and Jay still doesn't see eye to eye, but Jay is slowly rubbing off on my dad. Just the other day my dad was asking me some things about Jay, all good things though. Im not sure what he's up to but i have to keep my eye on him. The fact that my dad still hangs with Tony bothers me. Not because of Tony but because he's not hanging with Jay. Like how could he still stay in relation with him, even though we are broken up, but can't except Jay. I just try not to let it get to me. I don't feel like going through all that mess again.

I haven't told anyone this but Tony and I have gotten back on speaking terms. He calls me every once in a while to check up on me, but nothing in that type of way. We both know that things between us are far from over. It's just nice that we could still be in each others lives and support each other. I haven't told Jay though. Im still trying to figure out how. With him being on tour, it's so hard to talk to him. Tony have even spoken to me about meeting up with Jay to clear the air. He feels bad about how things went down between them and wants to make amends. I kind of hope they do only because we do hang around the same crowd of people and we do attend the same events, and i just don't want any awkward tension. And if i could forgive him, i know Jay could.

As for myself, I decided to release my album in April, well because December and January were 2 of the  biggest months for me and April is my favorite month, well because it is the 4th month out of the year which is my favorite number.  Since recording though, i've worked with many artist like missy elliot, big boi, luther van dross, diddy, jay, and a few other artist and producers. These past few months have been a wonderful experience, I'm just so grateful for everything. I just been spending my time promoting, working, filming. I was called to do another film, but this time with Cuba Gooding Jr, a film about singing in a gospel choir. The was one of the greatest times in my life. I was starting this New Year off busy as ever, but i was starting it right. I had a new career, a new film, and a new guy on my arm. What more could i ask for.

While Jay was out in Trinidad for his "It's a Black Thing Tour", i was back in the states doing what i do. It was another late night of filming and i was exhausted, but i had to head over to the office to meet with Gwyn for this St Patrick's Day party we were planning. I was excited about it to because Jay was going to be home that weekend. Can you believe it's been 3 whole weeks since i last seen him. Ugh, i'll be glad when my album is released, and I'm done filming because i miss my baby. But duty calls.

RING. RING. RING

Just as I was getting in the car, Kelly started calling.

..............(PHONE CONVO)

(Bey) "Hey Kel" i said in a bit of exhaustion.

(Kelly) "Whats up babe, you sound tired?"

(Bey) "Thats cuz i am, I've been shooting for like 12hrs today, then I'm on my way to meet with Gwyn for the St. Patricks day party."

(Kelly) "Aw poor baby, and gosh Bey.....i don't know where you be getting all the energy to do so much."

(Bey) soft chuckles "I know, i know.......But whats up love, what you need?"

(Kelly) "Well i just wanted to catch you ahead of time and see if you wanted to meet for breakfast tomorrow?"

(Bey) starts to think "I think i have an early meeting tomorrow, but we might can do it. You just have to call or text me to remind me."

(Kelly) "alright."

(Bey) "So whats up with you, how have you been? How was Croatia?"

(Kelly) "it was fun, the show went great. The people their are so nice and welcoming. We most definitely have to go their for a trip or something."

(Bey) "Thats good, i wish i could have went to see you. But yea we most definitely have to take that trip."

Bey's phone line starts clicking.

(Bey) "Kel, this is Gwyn calling. Ima just talk to you tomorrow."

(Kelly) "Okay boo, love you."

(Bey) "Love you too." clicks over "Gwyn?!"

(Gwyn) "Bey?!"

(Bey) "Yea whats up?"

(Gwyn) "I was just wondering if you could pick something up to eat, I'm starving?"

(Bey) "Sure, well we're passing up burger king now? Do you want that?"

(Gwyn) "Yea that will do, get me the spicy crispy sandwich combo, but make my drink a chocolate shake."

(Bey) "Alright, well i should be there in about another 5/10 mins."

(Gwyn) "Okay, thanks girl. See you when you get here."

(Bey) "Okay."

I had Julius pull into burger king, we went through the drive thru of course. It was too late in the night to be dealing with people. I order Gwyn's meal and got me a jr whopper combo with cheese. I had a pepsi. I needed some energy. We arrived to the office moments later. Gwyn and I were at the office for about 3 hrs, until we finally went home. were so exhausted and so tired. Gwyn was already there prior to me coming. With St Patrick's Day less than 2 weeks away. We needed all the time we could get to out it together.

When i got home, my house seemed so quiet and cold. Solo was back in Houston again, from went she went back in december. It's seem's like her and Daniel's relationship, was growing stronger and stronger, it'll we 4 years this year. Im so happy for my sister. And Jay was on tour and I wasn't going to see him for another 2 weeks. My life right now was pretty much boring, aside from me having to work, which gives me things to do. And well Kelly, but she's been in and out of town for her tour so i really don't have anyone. I crawled into bed with out even taking anything off, then minute my face touched the pillow, I dozed off.

The next morning i awoke to a phone call from Jay. It was 7 o'clock my time and 8 o'clock his time. I had only been sleep 4hrs before Jay called.

............(Phone Convo)

(Bey) "Hello" i said in my sleepy voice.

(Jay) "Good morning muffin." He had more energy in his voice then i had in mines. "You sound extremely tired."

(Bey) "Good morning, and yea i am. I didn't get in until about 3 last night."

(Jay) "3? Why so late?"

(Bey) "Well after leaving the set, i had to go meet with Gwyn about the party."

(Jay) "Oohh yea, the party.....thats right?"

(Bey) "Yea. So whats up? What are you up too?"

(Jay) "Nothing much, just looking out over the balcony thinking about you. I miss you Bey."

I smiled and lit up on the inside when Jay told me he missed me. Although i know he does, it just feels so damn good to hear him say it. It makes me feel good.

(Bey) "I miss you too Pop Pop, I'm counting the days until you are home. With you and Solo no being here, i feel so empty."

(Jay) lets out a light chuckle "Well i'll be home soon. But let me get off this phone. I just wanted to hear your voice before i started my day....you go ahead and get some rest and get ready for your day. I love you ma."

(Bey) "I love you too. And Jay?"

(Jay) "Yea?"

(Bey) "Have a good day.

(Jay) "You too." he said right before hanging up.

After getting off the phone with Jay, i just laid in bed staring off at things. I tried falling back to sleep, but my sleep was broken so now i was up. I still laid in bed though trying to catch some energy to go get showered and freshened up. About 10 or 15 mins laters i finally found the energy. I took my shower and  got freshened up. I threw on some comfortable clothes until it was time for me to leave. I went and checked my schedule to see my itinerary for the day. I had a meeting with my line at 10, a photo shoot  at 2, and interview at 5, and then the rest of my day was taken up with filming. Some of the filming was done here, but as of next month we we're going to be shooting in Georgia. Sometimes it's overwhelming the life i live, but it's worth it. Im living my dream and i'm doing what i love. And most importantly i have wonderful people in my life to share it with.

Because it was still early and i had some time to spare, i decided to call Kelly to meet up and have breakfast but she wasn't answering the phone. I just figured she was still sleep or something. I went into the kitchen and fixed me a bagel then went into the living room and started watching my morning shows.  Halfway through Live With Kelly, there was a knock on my door. I was confused because i wasn't expecting anybody. I peeped out the peep hole, but i couldn't see anything because who ever was out there was blocking it. I opened the door with caution until i saw that it was Kel at the door. And she had food.

(Kelly) "IIIIIIIIIIIIT"S ME!" she said barging in, all happy and full of energy.

(Bey) cheesing hard, with a surprised look on her face "OMG.....Kel.....what is this? And I just called you."

(Kel) "I know." she said going to sit the food down on the table "Well i knew you going to be to busy to go to breakfast so i just figured i'll bring breakfast to you."

(Bey) "Aww you are so sweet" i said walking over to hug Kelly.

(Kelly) hugging Bey back "Well duuuuuh" she said playfully "You've been so busy lately, i've been on tour....we haven't had much time to see each other."

(Bey) "Yea i know." i said beginning to sit down "With you and Jay on tour and Solo being gone, i've been so lonely."

(Kelly) "Well you got Angie and Michelle."

(Bey) "Well Angie yea, but Michelle. She hasn't been the same since she's converted to gospel. But thats still my girl."

(Kelly) rolling her eyes "You are right about that." and instantly we both started laughing.

(Bey) "So what you get?" I said al excited and ready to eat.

(Kelly) "GIRL....EVERYTHING." she said laughing. "I got pancakes, waffles, french toast, bacon, eggs, sausages, hashbro---"

(Bey) "Damn, you really did get everything." i said joking.

(Kelly) "Well between the 2 of us, i figured we were going to need a lot of food."

(Bey) "You aint lying, especially with your ass....." i said laughing "You be eating like you don't have a stomach or something." i said cracking a joke.

(Kelly) laughing "Shut up.....excuse me for having an appetite."

(Bey) "When i was pregnant it seemed like i was always hungry, no matter how much i ate........Thats how you are." i said diving in to my food.

(Kelly) "Do you still think about what happened?"

(Bey) "Think about.........Oh."

When Kelly said that, it made me think back to the day of my miscarriage. Although it still saddens me, i just feel it happened for a reason. I don't regret it happening, nor do i regret ever becoming pregnant. It's just an experience i had to go through to make me stronger and because of it, it brought Jay and I closer together. He's been by my side through the whole Tony situation and to think about all this makes me feel even more guilty about telling him that Tony and I are back speaking.

(Kelly) "Bey whats wrong?" she said noticing my change in mood. "Im sorry, i shouldn't have asked that."

I was still in a daze, thinking about things that i didn't pay attention to what Kelly was saying. Kelly was sitting on the floor at the coffee table, while i was sitting on the couch.

(Kelly) starts shaking my leg "Bey, do you hear me? I said are you okay? Your started to scare me."

(Bey) snapping out of my thoughts "Oh, yea yea....Im fine. I was just thinking about some things."

(Kelly) "Like what?"

(Bey) sighs and takes a deep breath "I haven't told anyone this, but i've been talking back to Tony."

(Kelly) "BEY........WHAT?" she said completely shocked.

(Bey) "I know Kel." i said putting my hands over my face. I was so ashamed.

(Kelly) "What has Jay said?"

(Bey) "He doesn't know."

(Kelly) "Well Bey, you have to tell him because if he finds out and it's not from yo--"

(Bey) "You don't think i know that."

At this point i had broke down crying. All the frustration and guilt was beginning to get the best of me. I started thinking about Jay and what he was going to say and how he was going to react.

(Kelly) getting up off the floor and sits next to Bey "Don't cry babe........i know you in a tough predicament but you have to realize whats at hand and face reality. Did you think that you could keep this a secret."

(Bey) "I wasn't intending too. It's just so hard because every time i even try to mention his name he flips out."

(Kelly) "But the longer you wait to tell him, worst things will turn out. How long has it been?"

(Bey) "Well he called me back in Nov, a little after thanksgiving asking if we could be friends. But i told him i'll think about it. Then he showed up to my premiere and spoke a few goos words to me. Since then we've been speaking but it's every now in then. We never talked twice in a 1 month though."

(Kelly) "So what is his purpose? Is he trying to get back with you or something?"

(Bey) "No, No. it's nothing like that. I could never do that to Jay. Tony and I are completely over. We both are just in good places in our lives and after being in each others' lives for so long, we felt that we could at least try to remain friends, especially after everything that has happened."

(Kelly) "I understand. And you already know Bey, I'm here for you all the way. But you have to tell him."

(Bey) "I will, i promise. When he comes back from his tour."

(Kelly) "Okay, good. Now enough of this sentimental shit.....lets eat before it's time for you to go."

(Bey) wipping her eyes of her tears and begins to laugh "Right, come on. Lets eat."

Kelly and I continued on eating and doing what we always do which is have a good time.  After talking with Kelly, i felt more confident about telling Jay about Tony. We have never kept a secret from each other since being with each other, well besides me. And i  just want to keep it that way. The minute Jay gets back, I'm going to tell him.

Kelly left close to around the time I was leaving out to go to my meeting. When i got their i was so exhausted i could barely focus. But i got a good poker face, so i worked through it. The minute ran for about 3 and 1/2 hours. I had 30 mins to get across town to my shoot, with the traffic and everything it was going to tai a good 45 mins. I hate being in the car for a long period of time because i tend to get car sick. I tried falling asleep but it didn't work. When i got to the shoot, i was feeling really sick and noxious. The shoot started at 2 and i was already about 20 mins late. On top of that i had to do hair and make-up. Everything was set up and they were just waiting on me to get done. I wish i could just cancel but i couldn't. I hate having to cancel on things. I sucked it up and went on set to shoot.

The shoot today was not long, it probably was maybe 2 hrs. This was the shortest shoot i've ever done. But i was a bit happy because i had enough time to make it to my interview. If it's one thing i hate more than canceling is running late. The interview i had today was with Essence, they wanted to do a 10 page spread, plus a cover shoot with me, and a interview about my album coming out.

Once again i had to do hair and make up. But i was feeling a bit better, but i couldn't deny that i was tired. After hair and make up i went and took my photos, then ended with the interview. Tracey Ellington was the one doing my interview. I was cool about it because i did interviews with her in the past, and she and i have built some type of relationship.

(Bey) "Hey Tracey." i said hugging her before i sat down.

(Tracey) "Hey Beyoncé, how have you been?" she said hugging me. "Long time no see."

(Bey) "I know right." i said just before sitting down. "I've been great, how about you?"

(Tracey) "Girl" she said began talking "I can't say if I'm doing good or bad, due to the fact that Michael and i are divorcing. I don't know rather to be happy or sad."

When Tracey told me that her and Michael was getting a divorce, i was a shocked. She and Michael has been together longer than Tony and I were, so to hear that completely through me off.

(Bey) "Oh no really, I'm sorry to hear that."

(Tracey) "Oh it's fine, all good things come to an end sooner or later right?" she said giving me a look. "So what's the deal between you and Tony? I've been seeing you in the tabs when Shawn lately, whats been going on?"

I should have known, this was coming. We haven't even started the interview yet and already she's asking me about Jay and Tony. She has her nerve, yea we cool but we aint that cool. If she feels the need to share her business with me thats fine, but bitch please. You aint getting shit out of me.

(Bey) "Well Tony and I are no longer together." i said, that was the only thing she was gonna get.

The fact that Tony and I aren't together was something i couldn't hide, but as for me and Jay it was simple for me to just say we're friends.

(Bey) "But we still are good friends. We both just wanted different things and thats that. But as for Jay and I we're are just friends. As you know i did a song with him, and i'm currently signed under his label, but thats about it."

(Tracey) "Oh okay." she said giving me a look as if she didn't believe me. But i could care less. She wasn't a main factor in my life, so i could give 2 fucks if she did or not. "Well I'm looking forward to your album, i can't wait to hear it."

(Bey) "Thanks and it comes out April 1st."

(Tracey) "Yay.....Goodie." she said with a big ass smile or her face.

All of a sudden a guy comes in the room, he must had been one of the guy's associated with essence and Tracey.

(Steven) "Hey Tracey, we're all set. Your good to go." he said then looking over at me. "Hello Ms. Knowles. How are you doing today?"

I had no idea who the hell he was, but i put back on my poker face and smiled and greeted him back.

(Bey) "Hello" i said waving "Im fine, how about yourself?"

(Steven) "Im great."

(Tracey) "Thanks Steven" she said dismissing him, and he gave her nod and left back out the door "Okay Beyoncé, are you ready for this interview?"

(Bey) "Yes."

(Tracey) "Okay, let's get started."

The rest of the interview was mostly me talking about my album, how i got into sining, and a couple other of questions about what goes on in my daily life. Once that was done i headed back across town to where we were going to be shooting. It's funny how with filming, that you could make things seem like something that they aren't. Meaning, well the movie itself is suppose to take place in Georgia, but some of things scenes were shot here in NY, but were set up to make it seem like it was in there. But for the rest of the filming we'll be shooting in Georgia. 

After about a few hours of shooting, we had an hour break. I was dreading being here for 7 more hours. During my break i decided to text Jay. We don't really get to talk that much with him being away and with my schedule being so hectic. So we try every chance we get to talk with each other. 

As i was going to text him, i noticed i had already recieved at text from him, but that was when i was back at the shoot. He was just asking me what i was doing and how my day was going. When i texted him back, he didn't text me back right away nor did he text back for the rest of my hour break. Which meant he was busy. He was probably getting prepared for his show he had in a couple hours. I was bummed out because i had missed his text. I really wish i could just talk to him. I was beginning to get frustrated because it seemed like i didnt have time to do anything. I'll be happy once my album is released and i am done filming so that i can take some time off to rejuvenate. I've been working non stop since i was about 9, but 13 was the age where my career really picked up. Then when i was 16 i signed my first contract as as model and from there i've been working ever since. I never really had time off. I just always planned time around my schedule. A week was probably the most i've had off.

I was looking forward to tomorrow though, because my schedule is not as busy, we start filming early tomorrow morning but i only have to be there for at least 4-6 hrs. Then i'll have the rest of the day off. And i can't wait, because I'm turning my phone off and all I'm going to do is sleep. Instead of the original 7 hr we were planned to shoot until, we ran over 3 hrs. I was so mad because i was just so tired. Physically and mentally i was becoming drained. I could never imagine doing all the things I'm doing now being pregnant or even having to take care of a child. I can't help but think that, that miscarriage was meant and was also a message to myself. God has a plan for me and right now I'm just following in what he is throwing at me.

Once we were officially done shooting, i gathered my things and head straight home. It was past 6 by the time i got home and i had to be back up 8 to start back filming. I couldn't express enough how tired i was, i was just hoping that these 4-6 hrs fly by, better yet...i was hoping that they wouldn't even take that long. I only slept for an 1hr and a 1/2. When i woke up my eye were so puffy and i had bags under my eyes. I looked like a completely different person. I must say these past few months have been the most excruciating months of my life. After this i knew i had to better plan out my schedule because this was not healthy. 

After taking a quick shower and throwing on some clothes. I met Julius outside and we headed on to the set. When i got their, i went to my dressing room and got in my hair and make up done. When i walked in Ty, Angie, and a few other people who were part of the filming crew were all staring at me like i was crazy.

(Ty) "Bey, are you okay?.....You look like hell." he said.

(Ang) "Yea Bey, i have never seen you like this."

Ty and Angie were like my main members on my team. Most of the people i have working for me are people that i've known for a long period of time or they are my family. That haven't been with me though for the past weeks, because they were out handling business for me. My mom is also apart of my team, but she away doing things for her businesses as well. I was happy to have them though with me because it made me feel a bit better.

As i begin to speak, you could hear the exhaustion in my voice, i was trying to play it off as much as i can, so that it wouldn't effect my work. I hate letting personal problems interfere with my work.

(Bey) "Yea, I'm good. Im just a little tired thats all." i said sitting in the chair, with my head resting on the panel in front of the mirror.

(Ang) "Tired? Girl you look like you are about ready to flat line. Should I call for Ted?"

(Bey) "No, i said I'm fine. Come on Suzie let's get started on my make up, so i could get out there."

(Ty) "Here babe, drink this" he said handing me a cup of coffee. 

(Bey) "Thanks Ty" i said cracking a smile at him.

(Ty) "Your welcome." he said as he rubbed my shoulder in comfort.

(Bey) "Ang, can you go get me like a bagel, a cracker, a banana or something?" i asked, forgetting that i didn't even eat this morning.

(Ang) "Sure thing doll." she said beginning to walk away.

As Angie was walking out Ted was walking in.

(Ted) "How's my girl?" he said coming over towards me.

(Bey) "Hey Ted" i said trying not to sound tired "Im okay....how are you doing?"

(Ted) "Im doing good, but you don't seem like your normal self? Are you sure you okay?"

(Bey) barely letting out a chuckle "I know. But yea, I'm okay otherwise i wouldn't be here right?" i said trying to crack a joke, to cover up how i was feeling.

(Ted) "Thats why i love you." he said coming over to hug me. "I told Vanessa not to schedule this damn shoot so early, after having did that late shoot last night."

(Bey) "It's cool, trust me it is."

(Ted) "No it's not, look at you" he said standing over me as he turned my head to look in the mirror. "I promise we want go over today, and if we do, i'll just reschedule."

(Bey) "No....Ted, you don't have to do that. I'll be okay."

(Ted) "Look I'm not a heartless person" he said "unlike most of these other directors, i actually care about people and their well being. And besides your my girl....i can't have you walking around here looking like a zombie. Your a model for christ sake, this is your money maker." he said making a circular mooting around my face.

(Bey) just lets out a laugh.

(Ted) "Go a head and finish with hair and make up, then come out on set. We'll shoot all your scenes first so we can go ahead and get you out of here so you could get some rest."

I was flattered to see that Ted was more concerned about my well being, and i was also relieved. But I would be lying if i said that i didn't feel bad it. The last thing i wanted was to let my mood interfere with my work. To me i think it's unprofessional, but thats what happens when i surround myself with positive people. 

(Bey) "Aw Ted."

(Ted) "No need to thank me, i just know your ass better go out there in deliver in those scenes." he said playfully as he headed to the door.

(Bey) "If it's one thing i can do best, and that is deliver. You know i always give 110%."

(Ted) "You aint never lied." he said right before he walked out the door.

No longer after Ted had left, Angie was coming back with my food. She had orange juice, pretzels, bagels, sliced apples and peanut butter and more. I couldn't wait to dig in. I asked Suzie to hold off on my make up so that i could eat. After eating and drinking the rest of my coffee, we picked back up with the make up and hair. I felt rejuvenated after drinking that coffee and eating. I went out on set and started filming. It took about 6 hours, for my scenes alone. After Ted gave me the okay that I could leave. I left with out anything else being said. 

Once i got home, i kicked off my shoes, stripped out of my clothes, grabbed me a bottle of bubbly moscato, and filled up the jacuzzi. After all was done, i turned on some music and slipped into the jacuzzi, and cracked open my bottle of moscato.  Not to mention i turned off my phone.

(Bey's thoughts)

Aaaah, this feels so good. This is exactly what my body needed. After working for so long and so hard, sometimes you just need to sit back and relax sometimes. I haven't had a day like this in forever. But for me it always been hard trying to take days off  because i love what i do. I know at times i get frustrated, stressed out, and overwhelmed but i just deal with it.

After soaking in the jacuzzi for about 2 hours, i took a real shower then i went and fixed me salad chicken salad, grabbed the blanket off the sofa, put on a good movie, and ate and watch tv until i fell asleep. A few hours laters i was woken up to someone banging on my door, you could have sworn it was the police. I guess they must have been out there knocking for a minute because before i even got a chance to ask who it was they were opening the door to come in.

Because i was still halfway sleep, i didn't notice immediately who it was that was coming in. I stood there wiping my eyes in confusion, still trying to figure out who it was and why they were barging in my house. Then finally i realized it was Michelle, she had a key to my house too.

(Bey) "Michelle! What the hell are you doing? Do you know what time it is?" i was  little irritated for my sleep being broken, i wasn't trying to be mean. But i mean it was almost 12.

(Michelle) "I'm sorry Bey, i was just coming over to check on you."

(Bey) "To check on me?" i asked as i cleared my throat. "What for?"

By this time Michelle had made her way to the couch to sit down. I was still standing up. There was no need to turn on the lights, because i had a few lamps and night lights on.

(Michelle) "Well no one could get in touch with you, an after talking with Angie and Ty about how you were feeling earlier, i had to come to check on you, Well your mom actually wanted to stop by."

(Bey) "Wait, Wait, Wait......What?" i asked confused and in disbelief. I mean they were acting like i was missing or something.

(Michelle) "Well yea. I guess Jay was trying to get in touch with you but he couldn't so he called your mom, and when your mom couldn't get in touch with you she called Angie and Kelly, but Angie didn't answer and well Kelly's out of town, so she called me and told me to see what's going on?"

I just sat there shaking my head because i couldnt believe my mom and Jay. I mean what could they possibly think could have happened. And then my mom sending Michelle over here was so over the top. I could understand Jay calling my mom, but everything was just doing way too much.

(Bey) "Well evidently I'm okay, so you could go tell them that." i said sitting on the arm of the couch. I juts turned my phone off for the rest of the day, thats all.

(Michelle) "Well what about earlier with what Angie was saying?"

(Bey) "I was just tired that's all. These past 2 months have been crazy."

(Michelle) "I see, i could barley get in touch with you." she said laughing. But i wasn't in the mood for laughing or joking around.

(Bey) "Well like I said before I'm fine. So....." i said as my irritation built up. I guess Michelle got the hint, because she gathered her things and started heading towards the door.

(Michelle) "Well alright honey, i call you tomorrow. Night" she said as she hugged and kissed me goodbye.

(Bey) hugging Michelle back "Alright, Good night" i said going to close the door.  "And Michelle i don't mean to be mean, it's just been a long day."

(Michelle) "I know Boo" she said giving me a smile "You just get a good night's rest okay."

(Bey) i just smiled back at her as i closed the door.

After Michelle left, i turned off the tv and took my plate into the kitchen that i used for my salad and put it in the dish washer. After that I went into my room and turned my phone back on and saw a bunch of emails, text's, voicemails and missed calls. I only checked what i thought was important, which was everything from Jay and for work. Everything else was pretty much the same thing, people looking for me and asking if i was okay.

I called Jay to check in with him, since we haven't spoken all day.

...........(PHONE CONVO)

(Bey) "Mmmm.....Hey Pop Pop" i said as i stretched out.

(Jay) "What the hell B, what you been doing?" he asked all concerned rather than mad.

(Bey) "After shooting, I turned my phone and spent the rest of my day sleeping. I didn't get home until early this morning, i had only like an hour of sleep."

(Jay) "Aw B, you can't keep doing that, that's like the 4 in the past 2 months. It's not healthy."

(Bey) lets out a deep sigh "I know, I know. But thats part of my job."

(Jay) "Your gonna wear yourself out B."

(Bey) "Look Jay, i really don't want to talk about this right now, sooooo......." I said beginning to change the subject.

(Jay) "Well alright we don't have to talk about it then."

(Bey) "So how was the show?"

(Jay) "It was cool, Ye jumped off into the crowd." he said letting out a laugh "He was fooling tonight?"

(Bey) giggling "Yea he was. So where do you go next?"

(Jay) "Well i leave for Europe first thing tomorrow morning, then Austrailia, then Brazil, then I'll be back in the states doing shows in Denver, LA, D.C, and A.C, then i'm coming home."

(Bey) "Ohhhhh i can't wait. It'll be going on a month by the end of this week."

(Jay) "Damn, i knew it's been a long time, but i aint think that long."

(Bey) "I know right, tell me about. I just can't wait to see you. I miss you punk."

(Jay) "And i miss you too.......chump." then breaking into a laugh.

(Bey) "You play too much." i said laughing.

(Jay) laughing "Calm down feisty, geesh." he said playfully.

(Bey) just laughs.

(Jay) "I miss hearing your laugh."

(Bey) "And i miss you being next to me."

(Jay) "I will be though soon."

(Bey) "I know you will.............I love you Jay."

(Jay) "I love you too B."

(Bey) "good night."

(Jay) "........night" he said then hung up.

After getting off the phone, i crawled into bed and curled up with Jay's pillow. I was missing him like crazy and i thought that by me working so much would keep my mind off missing him, but it was no use. I was thinking about Jay every second, every minute, every hour, everyday, of every week. This has been the longest that we have been apart and i can't deal. It hurts me not seeing him, not being able to kiss him, not being able to touch him and vice versa. I just wanted to be with him. 

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. LEAVE A COMMENT. I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED? OH WHAT DO YOU GUY'S THINK ABOUT BEY TALKING BACK WITH TONY, WHAT DO YOU SEE HAPPENING WITH THAT? BE SURE TO LEAVE A NAME WHEN YOU COMMENT. THANKS. =) *KISSES