Chp 30 Where it All began

(Chapter Mood Introduction)
 Since telling Jay about Tony, I've been feeling so much better. I don't feel guilty anymore. I love that Jay and I are able to talk about things, it makes our relationship even greater. He's only in town for a couple of days, and i wanna make sure that things stay good between us. Although we're never really on bad terms with each other. I hate that he has to leave me though. That mean i have to spend more weeks alone and away from him. And on top of all things, i have to go to Atl, to finish shooting the movie. We only have 3 more month of filming, and then i release my album in a couple of weeks, so when all is finished i'll be able to tour with Jay for this rest of his tour, which ends Dec 1st.

.........................


Today was the day of the party. We were actually heading there now. Jay stayed behind because he and Ye were gonna ride together, i guess. So me and Solo headed out. When we arrived the place was packed, the press and paparazzi were out, and it looked like things were going to be great. As i was getting out the car i saw Gwyn, snapping pictures. I laughed when i saw her dress because it looked just like mines.

(Bey) "Really Gwyn?!" i said as i made my way over to her, i was referring to her dress.

(Gwyn) laughs. "No fucking way......." she said as she walked towards me.

(Bey) hugs Gwyn "I guess great minds think alike huh?"

(Gwyn) hugging Bey "You got that right....And Hey Solange." she said as she went to greet her.

(Solo) "Heeeey''

(Gwyn) "Well don't you look cute....."

(Solo) "Thanks.....And what is this?" she said looking back and forth between me and Gwyn "Dif yal plan this?"

(Gwyn) "Girl, no not at all....."

(Bey) "It's crazy though right?"

(Solo) "Hell yea, yal made me feel like i should have worn green, but I'm glad i didn't." she joked.

(Bey, Gwyn, and Solo) breaks out laughing

(Bey) "Come on, lets go inside.....it's getting hot out here."

(Gwyn) "Yea lets."

When we got inside, i told Solo to go get set up at the DJ booth. I went and checked with the Caterer to make sure all was right, while Gwyn went off and checked some other things. I ran into my girl Sinaa, as  i was making my way through the party. I was tripping out because it's been a minute since i saw her.

(Sinaa) "OMG......Girl look at you. How've you been?"

(Bey) "I've been good, how about you....girl give me a hug."

(Sinaa) hugging Bey "I've been great, I just finished a movie....Something New."

(Bey) "Oh really....Well I'm working on a film now, I'm doing Fight Temptations."

(Sinaa) "Yea, yea, yea...i heard of that. Congratulations."

(Bey) "Aww thank you, and you too."

(Sinaa) "So you know i have to ask......"

(Bey) confused look "Ask what?"

(Sinaa) "Well i just read in a mag the other day that you and Tony split."

For some reason i knew she was going to ask, that whats everyone is asking me now a days. It's becoming a bit annoying.

(Bey) "Yea, unfortunately.....but I don't wanna go into details, but we are still friends."

(Sinaa) "Oh no, i understand.....im the same exact way. But truth be told.......I much more excited about you and Shawn."

(Bey) "What.....Me and Jay?" i asked trying to play it off.

(Sinaa) "Don't give me that, i can see it on camera, and hear it through the music, which but the way.....i cant wait for your album to come out. I've been hearing a few singles and I'm really excited and happy for you."

(Bey) puts on a guilty smile "Okay you got me.....and thanks Naa, i appreciate that." i said as i hugged her.

(Sinaa) hugging Bey back "Your welcome......"

(Bey) "Okay girl....i gotta go ahead and finish checking on things."

(Sinaa) "Alright, catch you later."

(Bey) "K."

I went on checking out everything, making sure everything was enact. I met back up with Gwyn in the back room, and when i walked in Jay was there with a bottle in his hand and everyone was taking shots, drinking, and laughing.

(Bey) "What is this?.....i thought the party was out there." i joked.

(Jay) "Well where having our own little party in here."

(Bey) "Hmp, i see."

(Gwyn) "Here girl....take this."

I looked over at Gwyn who was handing me drink, her eyes were super glossy.....you could tell she was already buzzing. I grabbed the drink from her and let out a little chuckle.

(Jay) "Go ahead and knock that shit back, what you waiting on."

(Bey) "Hush fool.....if i want to hold the drink in my hand i can." i shot back.

Then everybody started instigating things between me and Jay, making little jokes and side comments, of course geeking me and Jay up. But it was all just for play nothing serious.

(Rob) one of Jay's friend "Aw B, you gonna let her talk to you like that." B is just something they say in NY.

(Jay) chuckles "I aint tripping, cuz she aint sipping....she's a light weight." he said as he grinned at me.

(Bey) "Oh i got your light weight." i said and tossed back my drink, "Now give me another one." i said looking at Jay.

(Gwyn) "Thats my girl."

(Everybody) "Ooohhhhh Jay, she tryna show you out."

(Jay) "What ever, what ever......" he said handing me another drink "Here you go."

And with that i went on and tossed that back along with 5 others, i didn't feel them right away, oh but i felt them later on. I was buzzing like a mf. And the crazy thing is i kept drinking. When Kelly and Angie arrived, we were taking shot after shot, drink after drink. Jay had my ass guzzling out of the bottle, looking like a heathen. I was full of it and I was feeling myself.

The party ended early for me though, when I tried to freak Jay on the dance floor. I had his ass to the point where we almost did. We dipped off with out letting anybody know. I was so drunk that the whole rest of the night was a blur to me. I barely remember getting to the car. We got in the car and i just seen lights flashing, for a second i thought i had died. But hearing Jay's voice made me know that i didn't. I also heard another voice, but i just figured it was just someone speaking from outside. The both of us together were pretty fucked up. I doubt we'll remember anything in the morning, cuz i know i want. 

The next morning when I awoke, my head was pounding super bad! When i opened my eyes my vision was a little blurry do to the light hitting the room. I woke up staring at the ceiling. I wiped my eye and blinked them until they adjusted to the light.

I then rolled over, and saw what i thought was Jay's hand. I reached out and grabbed it and began to sit up. My body was sore, my head was aching, and i was extremely exhausted. 

When i saw Jay walk in the room, i became stunned. I set there with a blank look on my face. I was confused, because if Jay was just now walking in the room, then who and the hell hand was this i was touching and who in the hell was this person laying in my bed.

(Jay) "Good morning" he said as he made his way over to the window.

                I sat there speechless and completely in shock, i didn't know what to do.

I snatched the covers back and my mouth dropped when i saw Sinaa, laying naked in my bed. I snatched up the pillow and jumped out of bed, as i covered myself, causing her to turn over and wake up. Jay turned around from the window and stared back at us, but he didn't seem as shocked as i did, nor Sinaa after she finally awoke to me standing over her.

PART TWO

(Chapter Mood Introduction)

As me and Sinaa, set there in confusion, Jay just stared there as if nothing wasn't wrong. No matter how hard i tried i could remember shit from last night. Everything was a blur. I was hoping that it was all just a dream and that i was going to be waking up any minute but it wasn't. I didn't know what to feel or who to react. There were so many thoughts running through my head. Like how did this happen, why did the happen, how does Sinaa feel about it? I know after last night a drink what something i didn't need, but at this very moment i could use one.

I pulled some clothes out of the dresser to put on. I also handed some to Sinaa so that she could put some on as well. I leaned up against the dresser, while Sinaa put on her things, Jay  leaned up against the window seal, and from there and was just stares until i broke the silence.

(Bey) "What in the hell happened last night?"my emotion was yet, unknown.

Sinaa just sat there on the edge of the bed with her head down.

(Jay) "So you don't remember?"

(Bey) Looks off at Sinaa, but speaking to Jay. "Remember what?"

(Jay) "Well after you practically raped me on the dance floor, me and you got into it...."

(Bey) "Got into it?.....About what?" i asked trying to remember.

(Sinaa) starts to stand up "Ma...Ma...Maybe i should leave." She said as she began to grab her things.

(Bey) "Yea maybe you should." i said, but not in a rude way. "Jay I'm gonna call for her a car service and i'll be right back, but we are going to finish this." i said as i walk out the room.

I went downstairs with Sinaa and called for her a ride, i waited 10 minutes with her until the car came. It was nothing but awkward silence and awkward stares. I didn't even know what to say to her. After she left, Jay met me down stairs where we set on the couch and discussed what happened. 

(Bey) "Okay you left off, saying something about we got into it." i said reminding him.

(Jay) "Well yea.....After i had left from you, you and Sinaa were dancing all over each other and doing all types of crazy shit. I tried to pull you to the side and tell you to calm down, but you weren't having it. So we got into and you stormed off, with Sinaa right behind you."

(Bey) just nodding along

(Jay) "Next thing i know, you were calling me telling me to meet you outside and so i did, but when i got out there i had seen Sinaa with you in the car......."

(Bey) "And then we came home and had a threesome......" i said finishing his sentence.

(Jay) "Well yea, pretty much...." starts looking hard at Bey "B whats up?"

I sat there shaking from feeling all sorts of emotions. The thought of what i did and the thought of Jay fucking another girl baffled me. And i was so out of it, that i had no clue what they did, what we did, and what we didn't do.

(Bey) "No I'm not.....im..im..im....." i could even make out a sentence.

(Jay) "Whats the matter?"

(Bey) "What do you think is wrong with me" i snapped "I wake up to find woman laying naked on the side of me, and i can't even remember how the hell she even got there." my nerves were getting bad.

(Jay) "Bey calm down, we all had a lot to drink last night, shit happens."

(Bey) stands up "Jay don't tell me to calm down okay, it's kind of funny how i can't remember not a got damn thing, but you seem to remember everything."

(Jay) "Hold up.....what are you trying to say?" he was getting just as mad as me.

(Bey) "You know exactly what I'm trying say" i yelled "Your ass was fully aware of the situation to the point, where you could have prevented the shit."

(Jay) now standing to his feet "Don't blame me for your drunken mistake, know how to contain your liquor" he started "and just for the record i tried.....but rather i declined or not....yal were still going to go at it with or with to me."

(Bey) "Oh please. And i really can't believe you would say some bullshit like that to me. The whole point about it, you still gave into the shit!!!!"

I was heated. Jay was completely missing the point. He knew i was drunk and he knew i wasn't in the right state of mind. So he doesn't have any legitimate facts to argue on. I'm just completely pissed.

(Jay) "Yea you right....i did, but wtf B......Im a man and i did have liquor in my system and the way you were pressing about it....you damn right i gave in."

(Bey) "Thats just the stupidest excuse i heard, i'm a man, i'm a man" i mocked "And I'm a woman, your fucking girlfriend at that. And i wish you would try to use that age shit because that aint got shit to do with it."

(Jay) rolls his eyes and turns his head away

(Bey) "Right, you aint got shit to say now huh."

I was so mad, it was taking everything in me now to punch him.

(Jay) "Got damn B, are you kidding me. Atleast i own up to my mistakes, but your too much of a hot head to see that." starts walking away "For someone to say that they hate arguing, you sure do like to make a big deal out of shit."

(Bey) throws a pillows at Jay but misses him "You stupid bi---" she said combing over the couch.

(Jay) "Go ahead and say it, i want you to." he turned around and interrupted.

(Bey) pushes Jay "You are a real jerk, you know that."

(Jay) "Why cuz I'm being honest. In case you haven't noticed by now, I'm a real as nigga....I aint got time to be playing these little games. I admitted i messed up, okay......you either deal with or leave it alone."

(Bey) "So what you trying to say?"

(Jay) "Look B.........I aint kissing nobody's ass, alright, you can blame it on me all you want too, but at the end of the day we are all grown, and accountable for our own actions." he said as he started to walk away again.

After coming to grips with things, i began to think. He was right. It wasn't like he just went out and picked some girl up or cheated with her. Regardless of me being drunk, it was still my idea. They always say a drunk man tells no lies, therefore my actions were just as true as my words. I guess this is one of those moments my mom was talking about when she said, you have to learn to except things. And knowing Jay, i know his intentions aren't bad. The way he cares for me is more than anything i can ever imagine. And no matter the situation, i was still deeply in love with him. These past 6 months Jay and I had together have been the best, though we had our ups and downs, but it's only making our relationship so much stronger.

(Bey) "Why you gotta be like that?" 

(Jay) turns back around "Be like what?"

(Bey) "So hard and shit all the time."

(Jay) "Cuz thats just how i am.....most people are as real and straight forward like me, ate last not all the time."

(Bey) "So why you gotta be like that with me."

(Jay) starts walking towards Bey "Do you want somebody thats gonna play around with you and do you want someday thats gonna give it to you good. Cuz I'm that nigga.....FORREAL."

(Bey) rolls her eyes "Okay Jay i get it, but i just want you to understand where I'm coming from."

(Jay) "I do understand, but what i need you to understand is that shit is going to happen. But you can't be so quick to give up and cry about it. You handle that shit head on. And I'm not saying that what happen last night was right, but it happened and we can't take it back....."

(Bey) "I know, I know...." i said as my voice became whining. I always get so emotional, when i'm talking with Jay.

(Jay) pulls Bey closer to him "Come here ma......" he said holding Bey close to him "Don't cry....you know your the one i love, these other girls can't take away from what we got....okay." he said as he kissed her forehead.

(Bey) chuckles "I hate you Jay....." i said playfully. 

(Jay) "Oh yea hate me?" he said with a grin on his face.

(Bey) "Yup, i sure do." i said smirking.

And with that being said, Jay backed me up against and from there we were all over each other. I swear Jay knew how to get me so worked up, yet he could also calm me down. This guy, had me so out of my element, it was crazy. I would never being doing half the things I'm doing now, if i was with Tony. I had to admit i was crazy in love, that it was almost a little dangerous, yet scary. Which gives me the idea, for a song, which will be the last song i put on my album. 

Jay picked me up and pressed me against the wall, with my legs wrapped around his waist. Jay had my hands plaster to the wall, giving me no chance to grab on him, as he kissed me passionately. He kissed me from my lips to my neck, still holding my hands. He the took one of his hands away to undo his pants, then proceeded on. When i felt Jay inside of me, my body lit up flames. His thrust was so powerful and strong that i could fell him inching deeper and deeper inside of me. After a while it started becoming painful.

(Bey) "Ooooow Jay.....ease up a littler."

But Jay ignored her and kept on going.

(Jay's Thoughts)

That argument with Bey, real worked up some tension and frustration, now I'm just ready to relieve everything. I know I'm going in on Bey a little harder than usual, but i need her to just take one for the team. I know she can handle it. And i can't help it, i love Bey's puss puss. It's always s right and pure and moist. With me leaving again for another 2 weeks, i wanna give her something to think about. And with the thought of her speaking back with Tony, i have to remind her that he could never put it down like i do.

When Jay didn't slow down, i could have sworn that i was going to die. He was going extremely harder than usual and it was too much for me to take. Usually i can handle anything Jay hands me. I guess by him being gone so much, and us not having sex as often as we normally do has made an effect. My legs were shaking nonstop and my pelvis was aching bad.  I continued to cry out, but that still didn't stop Jay.

After moving from the wall, Jay laid me out on the dinning room table. I was laying on my back, while Jay was standing over, with sweat dripping from his face. I took advantage of the time i had laying there on the table. Jay was even in me and i was still hurting. What the fuck was he thinking about to have him going ham like this? 

(Jay) "You okay baby?" he said as he leaned in to kiss me.

(Bey) whines "No Jay.....your hurting me."

(Jay) Aw B" he said as he kissed her "You can take it i know you can."

(Bey) "Jay nooo....im telling i can't...please just ease up okay."

Jay ignored Bey again, but instead of going back in he started kissing her down her body, from her neck, to her, chest, to her navel, and in between her thighs.

(Bey's Thoughts)

I was relieved when Jay started eating me, i couldn't take another minute of him inside me. Mona needed a break. I was hoping that after this he would be done, but knowing Jay that was not going to happen. That man could on for hours.

10 minutes had gone by and just when i thought i could relax, here comes Jay ass.

(Jay) "turn over."

(Bey) "What?!.....Jay no, come on just let me do you." i said trying to work out a deal with him.

(Jay) slaps Bey's thighs "You can still do that, but i still want you to turn over."

I unwillingly turned over. I started taking in deep breaths when i felt Jays hands slide down my back. Chills rushed up my spine, as i braced myself for what was coming.

(Jay) whispers in Bey's ear "Come on muffin, you cant handle it."

I didn't even say anything back, i just shut my eyes and gripped the table as the pain from Jay's entrance took over my body. BOW BOW BOW, he went as i went OW, OW, OW.

(Bey) "Fuck Jay......" i started off "With?!"

(Jay) chuckles and grabs Bey's hand.

After a while, Jay was really going in. Im talking about straight ram sack. I had already knocked over chairs, vases, and the china set that was on the table, trying to grip on to things. The only thing i had left was air. I started feeling behind me and caught ahold of Jay's Pants, although, that didn't help, but still.

It got so bad to the point, where tears started falling down my face. I didn't even know i was crying. I didn't want Jay to know i was crying, but i guess he did because he started placing kisses on my back and started telling me he loved me. Just as i left out a low, whimpering cry....Solo and Angie came in yelling through the house. I was so relieved.

Jay jumped off of me and fixed himself, and i lifted up jus in time to fix myself.

(Ang) "Beeeeeeee----" she stopped, we she saw us fixing ourselves. "Hmp. Well excuse me.....am i interrupting something."

(Bey) "Fuck no, not at all." i said as i painfully walked over to Angie "I don't think i ever been more happy to see you."

(Jay) chuckles "Whats up Angie?" he said as he began to walk away.

(Ang) "Hello Jay."

(Bey) "Where are you going?" i said talking to Jay.

(Jay) "Probably over Ye house or to the studio, maybe both."

(Bey) limps over to Jay "Alright babe, i'll see you later." i said giving him a kiss.

(Jay) kisses Bey back "Alright" waves to Angie "Ang."

(Ang) "See you later."

Me and Angie made our way over to the couch, as Jay was leaving out. I didn't want her to know about last night. Hell i didn't want anybody to know. That was something i was going to take to the grave with me.

(Ang) "So what happened to you last night, miss thing?"

(Bey) "Girl, i had one 2 many.....i had to get home."

(Ang) side eyes Bey "Uhm-hmp, you and Jay got out of there kind of early."

(Bey) "Oh stop" i said laughing, I already knew what she was talking about.

(Ang) "You and Jay went home and had some drunk sex didn't yal."

(Bey) starts laughing really hard. "Ch.....Did we." i said referring to Sinaa.

(Angie) "See i knew it. Thats what me and Kelly was talking about after you left, thats why i told Solo she could spend the night with me."

And i'm glad she did, because if Solo would have came home and saw us, shit would have been all bad. We sat out on the couch and talk for a while until Angie left. Solo eventually came downstairs after showering and putting her stuff away. We talked more about the party and a bit of other things.

***(MEANWHILE WITH JAY)

Jay had gone over to Ye's house to catch up with him, and talk about the party and what happened.

(Jay) "What up nigga?"

(Ye) "What up bro?"

(Jay) "Man what you got for me?"

(Ye) "You right on time, cuz i just rolled one up."

(Jay) "Shit then what we waiting on."

Ye and i went out on his deck where we set and smoke and chilled.

(Jay) "Man bro......the craziest shit happened last night."

(Ye) "Nigga like?" he said getting all excited.

(Jay) "Me and Bey had a threesome last night."

(Ye) "Man you lying, with who?"

(Jay) "You know Sinaa don't you?"

(Ye) "Yea, the girl from the party, the one you use to kick it with back in the day."

(Jay) "Na we aint mess around, we just was good friends. She was Tristan's acting coach an shit."

(Ye) "Oh okay, so any back to the story. Waiit, wait, wait......let me ask this first....BEY WAS DOWN WITH IT?"

(Jay) "Well yea.....drunk or not i couldt have turned that down."

(Ye) slaps five "Damn.........thats my nigga. I would of jumped on that too." he said laughing.

(Jay) "I mean it's only right. But thats why i had to leave though....she had sent me a text after she left, asking if we could talk. I aint want Bey to know because i aint want her to be tripping out. But I'ma tell her though."

(Ye) "I wouldn't tell her if i was you."

(Jay) "I got to, they're friends."

(Ye) "Aw damn.....thats shit crazy. I wonder what she wanna talk to you about."

(Jay) "Yea me too."

(Ye) "She probably tryna go for round too with you, but this time with out Bey."

(Jay) laughs "Na man you crazy...I wouldn't even do that to Bey though."

(Ye) "Im just fucking with you man, but if she do ask you, tell her you got a friend for her." 

(Jay) "You silly man.." i said getting up. "Aye lets go in, i need a drink."

(Ye) "Yea me too."

***(MEANWHILE BACK WITH BEY)

I was sitting at home with fixing me something to eat, waiting for Jay to come home. I still couldn't get over the whole night. But i wasn't going to let it bother me. I did how ever want to speak with Sinaa though about it and see how she feels, to make sure things are still good between us. I don't want no awkwardness between us she and I were good friends, when i first got into the industry and i want to keep it like that. I don't know how how relationship is with Jay, but I'm sure they know of each other, with the statuses of there career and all.