Chp 33

RE-CAP: Jay and Bey made up from another big argument. Jay signed Karina. And Bey has been helping Tony by taking him to see a Therapist. 

(Chapter Mood Introduction)
Things between Jay and I have been a little tense, but after talking with him we were able to come to an understanding with each other. It's crazy how things can go from good to bad so fast. Im just grateful i have somebody like Jay, who isn't quick to run. He faces his problems head on, which is something he is teaching me to do. He and I make a good team together.

.............

I was on my way to meet with Sanaa and Karina for lunch. She called this morning and asked if me and Solo was willing to join them, because she had pre-planned reservations. I gladly agreed, being that i could use i nice girls outing. I also thought it would be good for Solo and Karina to get to know each other a little better. They were going to be spending a lot of time with each other and they're both close in age. And since most of Solo's friends are back in Houston, i figured she could use one.

I also got word from my mom that the funeral is in 2 days, so tonight after Jay leaves, Solo and I will be heading off to Houston the following morning. We pulled up to Von Deir, and Sanaa and Karina were already seated. They had a table outside on the dec that peeked over the building. The view and the restaurant itself, was really nice.

(Bey) "Well Hello, Hello..." i said cheerfully as i walked up. Sanaa and Karina began to stand as we greeted one another.

(Sanaa) "Hey, how yal ladies doing today?"

(Bey) "We're doing fine..." i said as we all started sitting "...This is a really lovely restaurant." Solo and Karina were having there own side conversation, while Sanaa and i were having one as well.

(Sanaa) "I know, isn't it. I use to come here all the time back in the day....."

(Bey) "Oh so your from NY?"

(Sanaa) "Yup.....NYC all day." she playfully said.

(Bey) laughs.

(Sanaa) "And your from NY too?" she assumed.

(Bey) "Oh no honey....although i love NY, Ima always be a Houston girl until i die."

(Sanaa) chuckles "I hear that. But Houston is really nice though, i actually been there a couple of times."

(Bey) "OH really?"

(Sanaa) "Yea, most of the time for filming, but i also have friends there."

(Bey) "Oh okay, cool."

The waiter came over, cutting into our conversation. We ordered our food, then moments later they were bringing it back out so we could eat.

(Bey) "So where are you staying at in NY?"

(Sanaa) "Well right now, I'm staying at the Ritz-Carlton.....because i was residing in LA before coming back here....After getting married, James and I sold the property we had here and packed up and left to LA, but now that i'm back i've been looking for a place...."

(Bey) "OH i see, well do you have a realtor?"

(Sanaa) "I do actually, but uhm you see.....the places he shows me are way out of my budget or the style doesn't fit my criteria....I get real picky when it comes to finding a place that suits me."

(Bey) "Well if you want i can give you a number to my realtor, who's also a very dear friend of mine."

(Sanaa) "Would you?.....that would be so great. Thank you so much."

(Bey) "No problem, if there's help needed, I'm there."

(Sanaa) "And I'm glad you are, I'm looking forward to the time i'll be spending in NY....as well as building a friendship with you."

(Bey) "So am I, so am I."


***(Meanwhile with Jay)

I wanted to do something special for Bey, because as you know things have not been all good and gravy. I wanted to show her that i still love her and i still care. Im tired of fussing with her. It's been a minute since i really did something for her, i just had to let her know things haven't changed. 

I decided to hit up one of my favorite spots, Crown of Light. They had the best Jewelry in town, i was also good friends with the owner. After contemplating on what i was going to do for Bey, i thought what would be better then jewelry. Bey loves jewelry, accessories, shoes, clothes, and things like that. Even though she already has enough of it, she doesn't have her own custom made jewelry and thats exactly what i was going to get for her.

As i was walking up to the store i was immediately greeted by Benjy. He was this middle age, white guy, who was mad cool. He always has been since day one of when i met him. wee sat outside the store and chopped it up for a few minutes until we made our way inside. After getting inside, i just sort of walked around the store a bit, glancing at all the different designs and types of jewelry.

See I wanted to get Bey something that is going to be something special, not something she's probably going to wear once or twice, but something that can be worn all the time. I know she likes gold and her favorite color is red, and as i was explaining al this to Benjy to try and come up with some ideas, it was a woman who had interrupted us, intruding in on our conversation. 

When i turned around, i saw this beautiful, stunning woman standing just a few feet away from me. The energy she gave off was just so warm and alluring. I was a bit speechless. I smiled at her just as she smiled at me. Then she proceeded in my direction.

(Alicia) "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." she said as walked towards me. She was so polite and well mannered. She made me feel like i needed to use proper grammar when talking to her.

(Jay) "It's fine..." i said as i cracked a smile "...I could actually use some help, if you don't mind."

(Alica) "No, i don't mind, not at all." she said as she smiled back.

(Jay) "So you know a thing or two about Jewelry?" i asked not knowing exactly what to say. It was clear that she was a woman, so I'm pretty sure she knows all jewelry and all that good stuff.

(Alica) "Yes. Well actually, i have my own jewelry line.....I was just closing a deal with Benjy here, so as of Monday you'll be seeing my things on display here."

(Jay) "Oh, is that right."

(Alicia) "It sure is..." she said letting out a soft chuckle "...Im sorry, i didn't catch your name." she said as she extended out her hand.

(Jay) "Oh yea, your absolutely right..." i said as i extended out my hand too "...Im Ja--....i mean Shawn..." i said stubbling over my words "...My name is Shawn Carter but I'm known as Jay." 

I don't know why i was so nervous and jittery, the last time i stubbled over my words talking to a girl was never.

(Alicia) "Well nice to meet you Shawn..." she said as we shook hands "Im Alicia by the way."

(Jay) "Well thats not fair, i gave you two names and you only gave me one." he said in a flirtatious manner.

(Alicia) giggles "Your right, thats not..." she began "...It's Keys, Alicia Keys."

(Jay) "Thats much better..." i joked.

(Alicia) "So Mr. Carter, who is the lucky lady your shopping for?"

(Jay) "My girlfriend, her name is Beyoncé, she's a model."

(Alicia) "Oh yes, yes....I've seen her in a few magazines, she's a very beautiful woman."

(Jay) "Thank you and so are you." I responded as if she complimented me or something, my mind was completely gone.

(Alicia) "Thank you" she said letting out a soft chuckle.

(Jay) feeling a little embarrassed. "Your welcome."

Then for a minute there was an awkward silence between us.

(Alicia) "So what do you have in mind?"

(Jay) "As far as???" i said all unsure, i was so thrown off track.

(Alica) "For your girlfriend silly, are you looking for earrings, necklaces, bracelets, watc--"

(Jay) "Oh yea..." i said remembering what i had came for "...I think i'll do like a charm bracelet or something like that...she'll be able to wear it anytime."

(Alica) "Thats a good choice, it's also very good because you can personalize your own charms and all that other stuff."

(Jay) "Well it seems to me that you know a lot about this huh?"

(Alicia) "Well thats because all my jewelry is customer made....i don't make any duplicates."

(Jay) "Hmm" i said very impressed.

(Alicia) "If you want, i can take your ideas and what you know and turn them into something that she would love. I normally good at reading people and knowing what they like when it comes to things like this."

(Jay) "Really, thats sounds great. But the problem is I'm leaving tonight, i have to go back on tour."

(Alica) "Tour, you sing?" she playfully joked.

(Jay) laughs "No i rap....i also produce and make music."

(Alica) "Yea, you don't look like you can sing..." she teased "...But in all seriousness...im a a producer as well, i also write songs and make music too."

(Jay) "Well you just do it all i see..." i playfully teased.

(Alicia) "And thats just part of what i do...." she joked.

(Jay) "Alright i see you...."

RING. RING. RING. Bey started calling.

(Jay) "Just a minute, i have to take this."

I stepped off to the side a minute, to have some privacy so that i could talk to Bey and not be rude to Alicia.

***(Phone Convo)

Jay:   "Yea, babe whats up?"

Bey:   "Hey, what are you doing?"

Jay:   "Nothing over Ye's house getting ready to leave..." i lied because i didn't want to ruin my surprise for Bey "...What are you up too, how was breakfast?"

Bey:   "Breakfast was great, I'm just heading back home now."

Jay:   "Oh okay, well let me call you later. I'll see you when i get there."

Bey:   "Okay, love Jay."

Jay:   "Alright love you too, bye."

After hanging up with Bey, i made my way back over to Alicia.

............

(Alicia) "Beyoncé?" she teased as i walked up.

(Jay) laughs "Yes, actually it was."

(Alicia) giggles "So yea, I was thinking while you were on the phone, you can just buy her something little now, and by the time you come back i'll have finished it and you can give it to her then."

(Jay) starts to think "Thats actually a good idea. You wanna help me pick something out." 

(Alicia) "I would love too, but i have somewhere to be. Im sure you'll be able to pick something out, you seem like a guy with good taste."

(Jay) "Aw man, but okay. And yea, i do have quite some taste huh?" i said with a bit of confidence.

(Alicia) "If you say so..." she began "...But let's exchange number so that we can keep in touch about the piece."

(Jay) "Yea lets..."

Alicia and I exchanged numbers and from there we went on about our business. I ended up buying B, a gold 3 part locket, where i had them enscript the words to our first song we ever did which was Bonnie and Clyde but i flipped a few words around. All we need in this life of sin is you, me, and each other, down to ride to the very end, we'll still have one another. After all the time Bey and I shared with each other and given all the things we been through for these past months has shown me how good we are together. I feel like we can overcome anything...I don't know, but i really feel like Bey can be that one. But before going home i went around shopped for Bey some other little things, just because.

***(MEANWHILE BACK WITH BEY)

I was at home, i had just showered and baked me some brownies when Jay texted me asking me to meet him at his house in an hour. I had already been home a few hours prior too. I even called Jay to let him know i was on my way home and he still hasn't arrived, but was telling me too meet him at his house in an hour. I was a little excited. I knew Jay had something planned. He's hardly ever at his place because he's been spending most of his time here. And it's also been a while since we've did something together, since we had a intimate factor other than sex together. I couldn't wait to see what he had in stored. 

Being that all we do is basically bicker with each other to him now coming back around, has showed me that the feelings, the love, the emotions are all still there. I want Jay and I too work, and i would like to think that we could. I haven't had too much experience with learning how guys operate because i've only been with 2 and i've gone from bad to good. So when it comes to certain things i don't know how to react. I guess thats what my mom meant when she said as a woman we learn to except things and the things that we want want, will help us to determine how much we can take and if it's worth it in the end.

I didn't know what to expect though from Jay. I had no clue what to wear, how to prepare myself, but i just went along with how i was feeling. I pulled out my fiery, one sleeved dressed, with my leopard pumps, pulled my hair into fancy high bun, and topped it off with some accessories. After applying my make up, and after a long dreadful hour i made my way to Jay's place. But when i got to the door, there was a sign telling me to meet him on the roof. 

The excitement grew as i rode the elevator up to the room. When i walked out the door unto the roof, i saw a table lit with candles, placed with champaign and 2 silver dish platters on it, sitting under a white tent that fit just right around the table. I wasn't at all shocked, i was more so ecstatic. Jay knew how to get my attention and how to make me smile, as well as happy. Even by doing the simplest things. Thats what i loved so much about him.

He was standing there with a bouquet of red orchids, which were my favorite. All i could do was smile as i slowly walked over to him. For some reason i had became nervous. It was feeling like my first date with Jay.

(Jay) "Here..." he said handing me the flowers "...these are for you."

Bey grabs the flowers and places a kiss on Jays cheek as she hugs him.

(Bey) "Aw there red like my dress...." i said smiling hard, i just couldn't stop cheesing.

(Jay) "And might i say, you are wearing that DRESS." he said as he nodded his head, letting me know he was checking me out.

(Bey) whispers in Jays in "Well if your lucky, i might let you take it off of me." i said in a seductive tone.

(Jay) chuckles "Uhmp!..." he said as he licked his lips "...Well let me be lucky tonight." he said as he rubbed his hands together seductively. 

I made my way over to my chair to sit down, as Jay came over to pull out my chair. I sat my flowers down in a clear spot on the table.After sitting down, he just told me how beautiful i looked and kept making dirty jokes, until he started talking about real things. He told me how sorry he was for the way things have been between us, and he even told me about him and Sanaa that night. Although i was a little mad i just let it go. I felt since he was being honest with me and telling me how he felt i should do the same, so i told him about Tony. He was briefly mad at the fact that i didn't just tell him that the first time. I admitted that i was wrong and i should have just told him. But after talking about everything and laying it all on the table, i've felt better then i ever felt.

After we were done talking and clearing the air, Jay and I started on dinner. He cooked homemade chicken fetucinni with broccoli, just the way i liked. It was my next favorite thing next to pasta. It was so delicious. I was mad though when he interrupted me, but that all went away when he started pulling out gifts. He started off by saying he got me something, but i know it's never just something with Jay. He pulled out 2 boxes, one containing a lovely outing dress, made by Alexander McQueen, and a pair a black studded out Jimmy choo's. Then he pulled out a bag filled with tissue paper containing a very sequence pattern  Dooney and Burke bag, filled with all different types of body lotions, perfumes, and toil trees, like ceded candles, which i love, and bath and body things. I felt so spoiled.

But that wasn't it. He then pulled put 2 small boxes. I didn't know what to think nor how to react. Was he about to propose or something? I didn't know what to expect at this point. I just kept on smiling nervously as he stared back at me.

(Jay) "And for you final gift......" he said as he begin to open the boxes.

(Bey) "Oh lord.." i thought "...Let this not be a ring."

Jay opened up one of the boxes and pulled out a charm bracelet. And got up and placed it in my hand. My eye teared up when i saw what he had in the inside, from what he had enscripted and the 3 pictures he had placed on the inside of our 3 special moments. I was feeling like i was on cloud nine.

(Bey) "Wow Jay....im so speechless right now."

(Jay) chuckles "I told you from day 1, all i wanna do is make you happy and see you smile..." he started off "...From the first moment i met you and that night we shared i felt something between, something strong......."

Then Jay started reaching for the other box and i thought i was going to lose it. I became nervous, anxious, and excited all in one. He's really gonna do it, was all i thought. And then he opened the box and pulled out a ring.

(Bey's thougts)
When Jay pulled out that ring, my stomach tightened up. I didn't know what to do, what to say, and how to react. I mean was i really ready to go down this road again. I mean i know Jay and I have only been together 6 months, but based off that time and how i feel about him, he's the only one i want to end up with. But i didn't want it to happen so soon. I mean one day on the near future, but just not now.

(Jay's thoughts)
Judging by B's facial expression, i knew what she was already thinking, "it was a engagement ring", but it wasn't. I brought her a promise ring. I know it's kind of cheesy, but i feel she deserves it. She's been through too much and i don't ever want her to have to hurt again. I want her to feel loved, safe, comfort, affection, and secure which is why i got it. I want to promise her a better life, a better love, a better me, and a better us. And with this she'll know my love for her is real.

(Jay) "Before you think this is an engagement ring, i want to let you know thats it not" i said breaking the tension that she was feeling.

(Bey) lets out a deep sigh

(Jay) "Its a promise ring."

I thought it was cute Jay had got me a promise ring and became relieved when i found out it wasn't an engagement ring.

(Jay) "I'm giving you this because i feel like you deserve it. At this point in our relationship i feel we can only continue to get stronger, and although we may get thrown off a bit along the way we always manage to find our way back. So I'm giving you this to promise you that i will the man you need and want me to Bey...."

A tear fell from my eye, after soaking in all what Jay was telling me. I could feel everything he was saying to me. I was feeling so loved, more loved than i have after felt from any man and anybody.

(Bey) "Aw Jay, why are you so good to me?" i said trying to hold back from full out crying.

(Jay) "Like i just told you B, you deserve it. I see myself with you for the long run. I don't ever want to lose you...i'll be damn if i let another treat you the way you need to be treated, when i know i can do it 10 times better.....it may sound crazy but i think you and i are meant to be. Just look at everything we've been through, from Tony, Aaliyah, us?!"

(Bey) "Jay, i can't see myself with anyone but you. I love you more than you could ever know. I just wish sometimes i could be the woman you need me to be, sometimes i feel like I'm not good enough..."

(Jay) "Baby, don't talk like that. Your for damn sure good enough. If anything, i think your too good for me and i don't deserve you. I love you B, i love everything about you from you smile, too your warm spirit, your wonderful personality, your ambitious ways, your caring heart, and your attitude. I love it when you speak how you feel because thats lets me know you care, because if you didn't, i'll probably be out here running the streets."

I smiled at how charming Jay was. Gosh this man is going to be the death of me and i mean that in a good way. Cuz I'm not sure when I'm gonna die, but i hope it will be with Jay.

(Bey) "I can honestly say the being with you i am happier then i have ever been. And i'm wiling to fight through it all to get us to the end. But i just want to say this...." i begin to choke up as i gathered my words "...If there ever comes a time when you feel that I'm not giving you all that you need and you try to go find it else where....please just let me know so that we can try to work through it because that right there is a hard pill to swallow, and I'm not sure if i would be able to love you the same as before if that ever was to happen."

(Jay) "You want ever have to worry about that ever, PERIOD. In my eyes i only see you, none of those other girls can't even come close to you. I mean i know i my look occasionally at a girl with that type of lust factor, but when i think about what it will do to  you baby that all goes away."

(Bey) "I know babe, i just wonder sometimes that's all."

(Jay) "Well i don't want you to think like that, you hear me......it's gonna be me and you until the world blow." He said as he leaned in to kiss me.

After putting on my ring and having one of the most heart to heart conversations with Jay. We spent the rest of our time looking out into the city of NY. The city looked so pretty when it was lit up. Jay and I set enjoying the scenery until things started to heat up. He begin to caress me as we cuddled out on the balcony. One thing led to another and we were in a full out makeup session on the roof. The night was still young, but it was close to around to time Jay was having to leave and i just wanted to end the night perfectly. We skipped over desert and Jay grabbed all my gifts, as i followed him down to his place. 

After we made it inside and got situated when started going at it all over the couch. But little did Jay know i had surprise from him. I had also brought with me some new lingerie  i had wanted to show off. I broke away from Jay and told him to wait on the couch until i came back. After going and changing, i walked back out into the the room with a red robe on dimming down the lights. Before i could even unravel it, Jay rushed up and backed me in to the wall. We started kissing very heavy and passionately. 

I wrapped my arms around Jay as he held me by the waist. Jay kissed me very gently and sweetly, not a rough and aggressively. He slowing kissed me down my body, all the way to my, well you know. Before i knew it Jay lifted me in the air and he me sitting on his shoulders facing him with my back against the wall. He had me all the way turned up. His tongue was deep inside of me, and he was going in like never before. My eyes were rolled to the back of my head and my head was tilted back. I was rubbing my hands all over Jay's head, i didn't know what else to do. He had my body quivering.

I came about 3 times and Jay was still going. I felt myself about the climax and started losing control, causing Jay and i to fall. Thank God he had carpet. I laid out onto the floor trying to maintain myself, as Jay crawled over to me. He lifted his self up and took off his shirts. Then positioned his self on top of me, after undoing his pants. While dress had undressed himself, i did as well. I laid there on my back as i watch Jay, watch me. He was laying over me staring deep into my eyes stroking my hair.

(Jay) "I don't just wanna have sex with you tonight B, i wanna make love to you." he said to me.

Shit i must have been high off the night or off that last orgasm, because out of no where i whispered to Jay "Jay, I wanna have your child."

Then after that he kissed me softly, gripped ahold of my thighs, and made his way inside. He was so smooth and gentle, but so forceful and aggressive enough to send chills through my body. He was using just enough power and force to have my body feeling sacred. He kissed me all around my neck and breast. The way he touched my body was like carrying a fragile box. He was making sure he was careful and very pleasing. 

We did and tried ever position possible, until we finished, then cuddled on the living room floor, until i dosed off. It wasn't until i woke up alone in the bed that i realized our night had ended. It was only a little after 10 when i awoke. I was sad because i was even awake to say goodbye. I laid there in bed for a minute, just recapping on the wonderful night we had. Jay and i had made sweet beautiful love to each other. I set there fondling with my ring, thinking about me and Jays future together. I was really thinking a lot about all what we had talked about and i was glad we were able to sit and discuss our problems and emotions. It made Jay and I that much closer. I hated that i had to spend another 2 weeks away from him.....but i was looking forward to him coming home.