Chapeter 13 "Where it All Began"

(Tony's Thoughts) DAMN, i fucked up big time. I know it's going to take a lot to even attain a relationship with Bey, even if i try to be friends with her. I was so drunk and mad, i was even thinking straight. I could have hurt her and the baby. I can't believe are 10 year relationship has finally come to an end. Im not surprised though, things between us lately has been CRAZY. And now that she has SHAWN....oh man, i don't even want to think about that. I'll be leaving out of town tomorrow to go on the road, which will give me sometimes to gather myself and think about things. Even if Bey and I don't ever get back together, i would still want to be there for my child. I'll just wait until i get back and things have calm down before i speak to Bey about this. Right now i need to think about practicing and my games that are coming up.




**(Shawn's place)
Shawn was at a meeting and i was at his house waiting for Kelly to come get me because she had my car. Despite all that had happened, i was actually in a good mood.  I called up Michelle, Angie, and Solo so that we could all go have lunch. It's been a while since we've all been together and hung out. I figured I would let them in on the latest of whats been going on in my life, so that later on down the line i wouldn't have to explain to them all at different times, why Tony and I aren't together. I mean he was a huge part of my life and now things have changed. I also couldn't forget about Solo who was still with Angie, i was trying to figure out how i was going to work things out with her being that, that shit that happened between Tony and I threw things all off. I also promised that i was going to get her today and I'm not one for breaking promises. I knew Tony was leaving in a day, which was a relief cuz i didn't want to deal with him.


Ring. Ring. Ring. 


.........(Phone Convo)


(Kelly) "Hey Bey, I'm outside."


(Bey) "Okay, I'm heading out now."


I grabbed my things and left. I didn't have to tell Shawn because he already knew my plans for today. I made my way outside and saw Kelly parked out in front, she was on the phone talking to someone and when she saw me coming out she tried to hurry and rush off the phone.


(Bey) getting in the car "Uhm, who were on the phone with missy?"


(Kelly) cheesing hard "Nobody gosh....."


(Bey) "Hmp. Well you sure was rushing to get off the phone when you saw me so.....tell me who it was?


(Kelly) "Well if you really want to know....it was Kanye."


(Bey) "Shawn's friend?"


(Kelly) chuckling "Yeaaa. You are noooooooosy." she joked.


(Bey) gives kelly a look "Oh and your one to talk." i said letting out a laugh. "So what were yal talking about?"


(Kelly) getting all shy "Noooooooothing. He was just asking what i was up too."


(Bey) "Ye sure....he was."


(Kelly) "For real, i ran into him like a week ago at the mall and we've been talking here and there, but nothing serious."


(Bey) "Yea right.....you know you like him."


(Kelly) "What no" she said trying to play it off "We're just friends."


(Bey) "Oh is that what they call them now a days."


(Kelly) "Oh be quiet"


(Bey) "It's all in your face, you can't even lie to me."


(Kelly) "You get on my nerves."


(Bey) "I know, but you love me." i teased. "So i guess now we'll be double dating huh."


(Kelly) rolls her eyes "Maybe."


(Bey) thinking about the lunch date "So did you talk to Angie and them and see if they're there."


(Kelly) "Yea,  Angie and Solo are already there. And Michelle is on her way"


(Bey) "Okay, cool. I can't wait to eat. Im starving."


(Kelly) "I bet you are." she joked.


We finally arrived to Giovanni's. Michelle was pulling up at the same time we were. After greeting Michelle we went inside the restaurant and saw that Angie and Solo was already seated. Im glad they were because i did not feel like waiting. We walked over to the table with Michelle following behind us.

(Bey) sitting down "Hey yal, whats up?"


(Angie) Hey Bey....Hey Kel, Hey Michelle


(Kelly) "Whats up Ang and Solo"


(Solo) "Hey yal."


(Michelle) "Hey ladies.."


After saying hi to everybody and getting seated, we all started talking, joking, and doing some catching up. In the meantime, we had all ordered our food and had began eating.


(Ang) "So whats been up Bey, last time i seen you, you were in a bit of a funk."


(Bey) "Girl, you don't know the half."


I started talking with Angie and the rest of the girls about things with Tony and whats been going on. Everyone besides Kelly were all shocked to hear about how things have turned out between Tony and I. I also told them about Shawn and I and our relationship, they all were really supportive of my decision of being with Shawn and not being with Tony. I have to admit though, i was expecting a lot of negative comments and disbelief from them.


(Ang) "Dang Bey, i didn't know things were like that."


(Michelle) "Me either."


(Solo) "That would explain that whole little incident at the hospital."


(Ang) "Oh yea, i forgot Solo, you did tell me about that."


(Michelle) all confused "What happened at the hospital?"


(Bey) "Shawn and Tony got into a fight?"


(Michelle) "What?!, Tony really has some issues, i can't believe he would even do all that, especially while you were in the hospital."


(Ang) "No, what i don't believe, is that he would put his hands on you" she said butting in "Oooooh i swear if i was Shawn, i would have kicked his ass super good, his ass would have been the one in the hospital."


(Solo) laughing "Angie, you are stupid. But thats right. Bey i can't believe you haven't told me any of this though, i mean i would have understood."


(Bey) "I know, but i wasn't expecting things to turn out like this."


(Solo) "Im just glad you are done with him though. Just think about if you guys would have got married."


(Bey) "Yea, i know. Things would really be crazy. The thing that im still stuck on is that even after all these years, he was still messing around with that trifling bitch, and was almost the father of her baby."


(Kelly) "Yea, thats pretty messed up Bey. I don't understand why guys do that shit!"


(Ang) "Me either."


(Michelle) "So what are you going to do about the baby, i mean are you gonna let him be part of that."


(Bey) "You know what, i don't even know. But i really don't want to have anything to do with him. Im done with him completely!" i started getting mad all over again "After that shit the other night.....i wouldn't even care if he got hit by a damn bus and died."


(Michelle) "But he is the father Bey, he's entitled to his rights."


(Bey) "And i don't give damn. That mother fucker has put me through some shit and i've always stayed with him out of love. I blame myself though....i should of left his ass a looooooooong time ago."


(Kelly) "Love will have you doing the craziest things man, i swear."


(Bey) "Hmp. You got that right."


(Ang) "Yea, i just don't understand. You don't things like that to somebody you love."


(Bey) getting irritated "Look enough of this, i don't even want to think nor talk about this anymore."


(Kelly) "Right, lets have us a girls day. Just of fun and laughter. This is the first time in a ling time that we have all been together."


(Ang) "Yea, you right."


I was getting real irritated about talking about Tony, although i was glad i was able to vent to them and let them know how things were, it was just making me mad all over again. After lunch we all decided to go shopping, well not actual shopping but you know just looking around and hanging. Kelly was the only person to buy something though. Her ass can not walk out of a store with out buying anything. After shopping and hanging out some more, we all parted ways being that we all had things to do. Kelly, Solo, and myself all left together. I needed to stop back by the house to get some more of my things, as well as Solo, just to hold me off until Tony left. I was skeptical about going because i had no clue if he was going to be there or not. I was hoping that he wasn't. Shortly after, we arrived at my place and there was no sign of Tony. I checked the time and it was about 3:15, which meant he was probably off at practice. When i walked in the house, i instantly caught chills, thinking of the memories that being in that house brought me. Kelly chilled out in the living room, while Solo and I gathered our things. It didn't take long for me to get my things. I was also rushing because i didn't want to take the chances of Tony popping up. As we were heading out the door, the phone started ringing.....i was curious as to who it was who was calling because everyone that i know, calls my self phone whether its business or personal.


(Bey) "Aye hold up a min, let me get this call."


I picked up the phone curious to know who it was calling.....

..........(Phone Convo)


(Person) "Hello, is Mr. Fernandez in?"


(Bey) "No he isn't, but can i take a message."


(Person) "My name is Emily Colton, I'm with the Diagnostic Testing Center of Iowa I was just calling to let him know that we have his paternity results."


(Bey) "There must be a mistake because we received the letter the other day with the results." i said a little confused.


(Person) "No there's no mistake. We have a policy that we do, where we call the person directly so that there are no miscommunications because a lot of times people tamper with the letters, changing the results."


(Bey) "Oh really, so what were the results."


(Person) "Uhm, I'm sorry if you don't mind me asking, who are you m'am?"


(Bey) "Im Mrs. Fernandez, his wife, why do you ask?"


I didn't want to tell them i was fiancé, i didn't know whether or not they'll tell me.


(Person) "Oh okay and well because we aren't allowed to give out that information unless we are speaking with the person or the legal spouse of that person."


(Bey) "Oh, i understand. Now you were saying, what was the results?" i asked trying to lead her back into telling me.


(Person) "Well the results came back positive, which means he is the father."


As soon as she said that my heart dang near stopped. I couldn't believe his ass lied and make a fake letter, but then again i could.


(Person) "We would have gotten back to you sooner, but we were having trouble with of our assistants about the case and i want to apologize for the inconvenience."


(Bey) trying to fake my instant attitude "Oh no, it's fine. Thank you though for letting me no, I SURELY appreciate it."


(Person) "Your welcome, well that looks like that covers just about everything....you have a good day Mrs. Fernandez."


(Bey) "Thank you, you too." hangs up the phone.


Kelly comes back in the living room, Solo went off to the car.


(Kelly) "Who was that?"


(Bey) "The people from the DNA testing?"


(Kelly) "What? What they say?"


(Bey) "They said that the test results came back positive, which means the letter Tony showed me the other day was a fake."


(Kelly) "Are you serious."


(Bey) with tears in her eyes "YES."


(Kelly) "Aww Be--"


(Bey) "Come on, lets go!"


(Bey's thoughts)
I was mad as hell, when i found out that Tony faked the letter. But i was more hurt, that he would lie to me. He lied to me like it was nothing. And i was stupid to believe him. As many times as he then lied to me, i didn't know why i would have believed him this time around. If i wasn't sure that i was done with Tony before, i know for DAMN sure i was done with him now. I can't believe i wasted all these years of my life with him. Im just glad that it ended before we said "I do" because i don't think i would have been able to even deal. The whole car ride i just sat there in silence, every time i felt myself about to speak, i couldn't. I was so hurt, that i just wanted to cry. Finding this out pushed me more to the idea of getting an abortion. Although I'm not one for abortions, the thought of me conceiving the seed of this disgusting bastard child was more horrifying the the thought of me dying.


On our way to Kelly's house, i told her to take me back to Shawn's and asked Solo if she wouldn't mind staying at Kelly's for the night. I told her the reason why and she said yea. She also got upset about it. Her and Kelly both were trying to comfort me, but it wasn't working. My mind was too far gone and my emotions were all over the place. I swear if i could drink some hard liquor, i would be taking a bottle to the head right now.  I wanted so bad to talk to Shawn but i knew he was in his meeting, well so i thought  because he had sent me a text.


........(TEXT CONVO)


(Text From Shawn) Hey, what are you up too?


(Text To Shawn) Nothing heading back to your place now. You?


(Text From Shawn) Just getting out my meeting. How was lunch with the girls?


(Text To Shawn) It was nice. I was having a good day though until i just found out some shit about Tony, now my mood is shot.


(Text From Shawn) "Well i'll be at the house in a few, we can talk about it then."


(Text To Shawn) "Okay."


We couldn't have got to Shawn's house soon enough. When i got there he was already there. I said my goodbye's to Solo and Kelly, letting them know i would see them tomorrow. I walked in and saw Shawn sitting on the couch watching tv. I then walked in to the kitchen, came back and set at the table with a glass and a bottle of wine.


(Shawn) looking at  Bey "Uhm, What are you doing?"


(Bey) pouting "Nothing"


(Shawn) getting up from couch and walking towards bey "Well it appears to me, that your about to have a drink."


(Bey) "Well i was...."


(Shawn) "You shouldn't be drinking while your pregnant though Beyonce."


(Bey) "It's cool, its on my list...its hard liquor i can't drink. Red wine is safe."


(Shawn) "Are you sure?"


(Bey) "Yea."


(Shawn) "Well i don't think you should be drinking anything. Drinking doesn't solve your problems it only creates them." starts sitting down "You got me to talk too, so whats up, whats going on?"


(Bey) puts down the glass "Well i went back to the house today, after hanging with the girls to get some of my things."


(Shawn) "Did anything happen, what Tiny there, did he try to start something with you." he started getting all mad.


(Bey) "No, no, no....he wasn't even there."


(Shawn) "So what happened?"


(Bey) "Well as i was leaving out, the phone rang and i answered, it was the people calling about the test results of Tony's DNA test results."


(Shawn) "i thought you said you already got them."


(Bey) "Well thats what i thought, it appears the letter was a fake, Tony made it up. They only give you that information over the phone."


(Shawn) "So what were the results."


(Bey) "It turns out he is the father...." the minute i said that tears started filling my eyes.


(Shawn) "Look Bey, i understand your hurting right now, but you can't let him get the best of you. People like Tony only care about themselves, not saying that he never really did care about you, I'm juts saying that he saw your weakness and used it to how advantage. You have a very forgiving heart and he played on it every chance he got."


(Bey) "He never really cared about me nor loved me, otherwise he wouldn't have done all that shit to me."


(Shawn) "You speaking out of anger right now, so your not really thinking clearly. But one day you'll soon see."


(Bey) "Lets not even talk about this anymore, I'm over it."


(Shawn) "Okay, thats fine."


(Bey) "Well I'm gonna go take a bath and soak away all this negativity....." i said getting up from the table.


(Shawn) "Alright, ima go make a quick run right quick, ill be back."


(Bey) "Okay."


I waited a minute before Shawn left to take my bath. The minute he left, i grabbed the bottle and my glass and headed into the bathroom. I know he didn't want me drinking, but hell i needed it. I ran me up some bath water, lit some candles, and played some music on the radio. I finished off that whole bottle, i was so hurt. My nerves were so bad and my emotions were all over the place. I set in the tub and thought about all the things Tony has done to me and it brought me to tears. I became so mad from being hurt, i started splashing water and shit everywhere.

                                                      
                                                      

 

At this point, i was really going through it. My anxiety levels were really high and i began to have a nervous break down. It seems like everything about Tony and I and what we've been through was just starting to hit me. And it was hitting me hard. I couldn't stop crying and i couldn't control my emotions. I started kicking, screaming, and throwing what ever i could get my reach on. Glass and water was everywhere.


***(Shawn's Viewpoint)
After coming back from the store, i walked into the house and heard a lot of commotion from the bathroom. I had no clue, what Beyonce was doing in there, but it sounded pretty bad. I rushed to the bathroom to try and open it but it was locked. I was banging hard on the bathroom door, telling Bey to open the door but she wasn't responding. I instantly started panicking.


(Shawn) "BEYONCE ARE YOU OKAY IN THERE?" i yelled ut of concern, but she still wasn't responding.


I took a few steps back from the door and proceeded to kick it down. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. I kicked at the door until it busted opened. When i walked in i seen glass and water everywhere and Bey was slouched over the tub. I rushed to her cautiously, and grabbed her out the tub. My clothes, got wet, but i didn't care. My main  concern was Beyonce. I took her in the room and grabbed a towel out the closet to wrap around her.


(Bey's thought) I was completely out of it, i was thrilled to see Shawn bust through that door. He made me feel safe and comfort when ever i was with him. I wish he didn't have to see me like this, on top of all that i was naked. I didn't know what i've should been more embarrassed about. But he didn't seem to care, his intentions were my safety and my well being. I really loved that about him. When it came to me  and how i was feeling, i was always his top priority. After going through what i went through with Tony, i realized Shawn was absolutely the type of guy i needed and wanted. Sitting in his arm felt so right and so good. I love the way he comfort me.


(Shawn) sitting on the bed rocking Bey "Shhhh, your okay, I'm here with you."


(Bey) crying "What did i do to deserve this?"


(Shawn) "You didn't do anything, it was him who screwed up, not you."


(Bey) "But i just don't unde--"


(Shawn) rocking Bey "I know, i  know. I don't want you speaking about this anymore. It's not good for you. I don't like seeing you like this, it's hurts me to see you like this."


(Bey) wiping her eyes "Im sorry Shawn, I just don't know what to do."


(Shawn) "Sorry? What are you sorry for? You don't have to apologize to me Beyonce. Your hurting right now and i completely understand that. I just want you to know, I'm here for you to help you through. You and I need each other right now."


(Bey) "Shawn i don't see how you do it.....i don't see how you can be so strong about everything."


(Shawn) "It's because of you." he said looking at me.


(Bey) I faced up to look at him, because i had no idea he thought that. "Shawn really?"


(Shawn) "Yea. I see something in you, something in you that is so beautiful and all i want to do is bring it out of you. You have a loving spirit, a kind soul, and a forgiving heart. You should be happy, you should be smiling all the time. You shouldn't have to worry about things."


(Bey) "Shanw I....." i was speechless.


(Shawn) "I wanted you from the start and i need you with me. You and I are better suited for each other. I have faith in us. You and I could have something so beautiful and strong, and everlasting. I just want to give you everything you ever wanted and need, but all i need from you is too just let me love you. Do you think you can do that?"


(Bey) puts her head down "I don't know Shawn.....i mean I'm not even sure what love is anymore and i don't want to waste any of your time."


(Shawn) tilts her head up "Let me show you then. And who's checking for time, i have all the time in the world. I know your just getting out of a relationship, but i don't care. I'll wait for how ever long it takes for you to become yourself again. You just got to have faith in yourself and believe that this is something that you really want."


(Bey) "Shawn i do want a relationship with you and i just want you to know i appreciate you, i just feel so guilty because it's like I'm letting things with Tony get in my way of our relationship."


(Shawn) ''Like i said Beyonce, i understand. You don't have to explain to me, because all i care about is your happiness."


(Bey's thoughts)
Hearing that made me think about the baby and what i was wanted to do. Talking with Shawn made me realize that i should keep the baby, if he was willing to accept me as i am, then i should too. On top of that it would be a selfish thing for me to do. It's not my baby's fault Tony and I didn't work out. But i still wanted nothing to do with Tony and I wanted Tony to have nothing to do with me and my baby. He can go play father to that other one he has. I needed to be thinking about my future and my relationship with Shawn.


(Bey) "Shawn you are just so sweet" i said kissing him. "And i want to let you know, i decided to keep the baby."


(Shawn) "Thats good Bey, thats really good. And i'll be here for you and the baby. What ever you need I'm there."


(Bey) "Thank you Shawn" i said kissing him again.


(Shawn) "No need to thank me."


After having this heart to heart with Shawn, i felt closer to him then ever. He just always knew what to say and how to make me feel better. I wish i could show him all the things that he was showing and telling me. I couldnt help but feel bad because i was letting Tony once again dictate my life, but not anymore i wasn't. I decided i was going to keep my baby, and build a stronger relationship with Shawn. He's been the best things that has ever happened in my life and i feel like a whole other person when i am with him. He makes me feel so alive and like i have an actual reason for living. The rest of the night ended perfect for Shawn and I, we just laid there in each others arm until we feel asleep. And i knew that after tonight, i was going to be just fine.