Chapter 3 "Where it All Began"

It's been about 2 days since I got that text from Shawn. I haven't really spoken much to him. I came to grips that I shouldn't even trip over the whole "friend" thing. I wasn't sure of how things would turn out between Shawn and I. And besides just from knowing him and actually spending time with him, I've grown to know that he was a pretty decent guy. Especially one to have as a friend. It's been a long day today, I really didn't do much but did some things around the house, lord knows I'm the not the neatest person. Kelly was over. We were having our last little girls night before Tony was coming home and before she would have to leave for her next concert. I was so excited when I got the news. He called me the day after I was in the studio with Sean and told me that they were releasing him early. I was so happy, my baby was coming home. As Kelly was over, we talked more about Shawn and I, I gave her the latest details about me and him and about the song. Since spending time with him, i was beginning to see him as a whole other person, it was crazy. Just last night I had a dream about him, I woke up and my panties were as wet as the pacific ocean. I had to go and take a cold shower. As much as I would hate to admit it, dude got me. 

(Sean's Studio) 

Shawn was in the studio, finishing the final details of the song he and I did. 

(Shawn's Thoughts) I wish Bey, was here to listen to this. Man her voice is amazing.........she's amazing. Man i dont know what it is about her, but seeing her the night of her party was like seeing her for the first time. And since then I can't stop thinking about her. It was like we clicked. I wish I would have told her the real reason why I broke up with Aaliyah, it was because of her. I might sound crazy for even thinking this but I can see Bey as my girl. I wish the dude she was with wasnt one of my boys. It's makes it that much harder to constrain my feelings towards her. If it was just some random dude, i didn't know, there's not doubt in my mind that I would of snatched her up. But for now, i just can't do anything but respect what she has. And besides she doesn't seem all that interested anyway. From the way she was acting from the night I texted, when I saw her at the mall, and even at Pacino's. If being friends is what she wants, Im fine with that. She is one cool as chick to have as a friend.


(Bey's place) 

(Bey's place)
 Me and Kelly were at my place, drinking wine, watching a movie, talking, laughing, just having fun. We had just ordered this new movie called XXX with Vin Diesel, it was one of those good action movie's. Now it wouldn't be a good action movie without a HOT sex scene. When they showed Vin Diesel take his shirt off, I was for sure i was going to have to take another cold shower. Me and Kelly were all up in. You would have thought we were some perverts, we kept rewinding it, and rewinding it, until the damn thing started to skip. In the midst of us watching tv my phone went off and it was a text from Sean.

(Text from Shawn) Whats up Bey, I just want to let you know i finished the final touches on the song. Your voice is so beautiful you sound amazing. I want you to here it. It turned out really good.

(Bey) smiling from excitement about wanting to hear the song.

(Text to Shawn) Thats great, I can't wait to here it.

(Shawn) Well what are you doing now? If you not busy maybe you could come to the studio?

I pondered on the idea of going. The only thing really holding me back from going was Kelly. This was going to be our last night together in a while, i didn't want to ruin it.

(Kelly) "Who's that texting you at 8 o'clock at night?"

(Bey) "Huh" i didn't hear what you were saying, i was too busy reading this text.

(Kelly) "Yea right, you heard what I said" she said snatching the phone away from me.

(Bey) "Well aren't you nosy?" i joked as i watched her go through my phone.

(Kelly) "Ooooooh it's Shawn"she said teasing me "What yal talking about" she started scrolling through the texts.

(Bey) "Nothing" i said trying to snatch my phone back but she blocked me.

(Kelly) "Wait let me put my glass down before you knock my shit out my hand" she said halfway playing but halfway serious.

(Bey) "You get on my nerves" i said pouting sounding like a little kid.

(Kelly) "No i dont,  you know you love me" she said still going throughout the texts "Oooh he finished the song Bey, i wanna hear it."

(Bey's thoughts) When Kelly said that I was kind of happy that she had wanted to hear the song. I could have easily told her let's go but i didn't want to seem selfish. I didn't want to take away from any of our time together.

(Bey) "I'll ask him to email me a link of it so we can here it."

(Kelly) "Fuck that, lets go to the studio." She said starting to stand up.

(Bey) "Girl no, tonight is the last night Im gonna see you for a while, I wanna make every minute count."

(Kelly) starts laughing "Oh please! You act like Im not gonna see you again. I rather go to the studio then hang here"

(Bey) "Well excuse me" i said sarcastically

(Kelly) "Hahha you know what i mean, now go get dress so we can go"

(Bey) "But Kel--"

(Kelly) "Not another word, you can talk to me after you are done getting dress."

I went in the room to get dress, actin as though I didn't want too knowing i really did. I love Kelly, she was also so understanding and was so nonchalant about things. She just went with the flow of things. It didn't matter what we were doing, Kelly made the most of everything. We i was finished getting dress, we headed out to the studio. I was so caught up with fussing with Kelly that i forgot to text Shawn, that I was on my way. This time it wasn't on purpose. We arrived to the studio about an 40 minutes after Shawn had last texted me. When we walked in it was only Shawn in the studio, he had all his stuffed packed up as if he were ready to go.

(Kelly) "Aw man your leaving" kelly asked.

(Shawn) "Aw shit" he said jumping up " i didn't even here yal come in. Starts looking at Bey "Hey you..."

(Bey) Looking at Kelly who was side eyeing me out the corner of her eye "Hey..."

(Kelly) "Damn I can't get a hi" kelly joked.

(Shawn) laughing "My bad, whats up Kelly" he said hugging her.

(Kelly) "Thats more I like it, any who we came to hear the song."

(Shawn) "Oh....well...hold up" looking around the room. Then walks over to a small station of the studio and hit a few buttons and the one started playing.

When the song started playing, I couldn't believe of how good it was and how great i sound. I actually wanted to cry. I just stood there speechless, while Kelly danced and sang on the side of me, and Shawn just stood there smiling.

(Shawn) "What yal think, hot right?"

(Kelly)  dancing "Oh my gosh, listen to my sister and HELL YEA, this shit bangs."

(Shawn) laughing " I know right, what you think Bey"

(Bey) " I...I....I.....I.." i was was speechless, i couldn't even get passed the first word that slipped out my mouth.

(Kelly) smiling "breathe girl"

(Bey) takes a deep breath "This sounds amazing, I mean I sound amazing, I didn't even know I had it in me."

(Shawn) turning the music off, walking over to Bey "I told you Bey, you got a beautiful voice. It's golden. It's full of warmth, passion, soul, and naturalness.......it's one of a kind."

Shawn showering with all those compliments just made me want to hop all over him. The he had me feeling inside was a feeling i could never explain. My face lit up with joy after that. My cheeks became rosy because i was blushing so hard.

(Bey) "Thank you Shawn" i said smiling

(Shawn) "Don't thank me, thank your creator because you are truly a gifted girl. You have a specialness about you."

(Kelly) "Awwwwwwwwwwwww"

(Bey) side eye's Kelly "Stop it Kelly" i said laughing "Shawn you are so sweet."

(Shawn) "Im just being me......"

(Kelly) opens the studio door and look out "Hey Jay, where's you bathroom?"

(Shawn) "Go out this door right here, make a right and it's going to be down the hall to the left."

(Kelly) "Ooh thanks cuz uuuuuuh i gotta go" she said rushing out the bathroom.

(Shawn) moving in closer to Bey "What you doing the rest of the night?" he said while leaning up against a table.

(Bey) "Well i don't really have any plans, me and Kelly was just chilling out having a girls night.''

(Shawn) "Oh okay, well I was wondering it you wanna take a ride---"

(Kelly) walking back in "Ride, where yal about to go?"

(Bey) "Nowhere"

(Shawn) looking at Bey "Well I just asking Beyonce here, to take a ride somewhere with me?"

(Bey) gives Sean a look " I do--"

(Kelly) "You should go Bey, Im getting tired anyway that wine starting to catch up with me" she said yearning "Ill been had feel asleep on the way home."

(Shawn) looking at Bey

(Bey) looking at Sean "No Kel, I don't want to leave you behind."

(Kelly) "You killing me with this, just go ahead and go, ill be fine. Just call me when you on your way back."

After that was said Kelly left and I went ahead and went for a ride with Shawn. The whole care ride was silent. We drove around for about a good 35-40 mins until we pulled over and made a stop in front of some building. Being that I'm not from New York, i had no clue where we were at, before I would break the silence and ask Sean had already started talking

(Shawn) pointing across the street " You see that building over there." he said pointing across the street.

(Bey) looking to where he was pointing "Yea, i see it."

(Shawn) "Thats where I grew up. I had a lot of memories in that house, some where good and some where bad." he said sort of chuckling.

(Bey) a little confused but flattered that he wanted to share this moment with her "What made you bring me here?"

(Shawn) "I don't know, i just feel i had too. Lately we've been spending time together and you have really grown on me as a friend and a person. I felt a connection with you......I mean where still getting to know each other and all and i just wanted to share this with you."

When Shawn told me that, I felt connected to him in some way. Me and him are 2 totally different people but we share the same interest. Im a southern girl and he's a city boy. His drives were to make it and become someone, whereas mines were to just dimly follow my dreams. It's safe to say that we both are where we want to be in life. Me and Shawn set in the car for a couple of hours just talking. We talked about our childhood, we shared funny stories and our embarrassing moments. I was learning so much about Shawn just as he was learning so much about me. I wish i could just tell him how I feel with out things becoming complicated. As much as I was excited about Tony coming home, I actually wish he had stayed a little longer. He has been the only guy I ever been with, but catching the attention of another man makes me change my mind on a few things. At this point I was so confused, my mind was saying one thing while my heart said another. We drove around for a few more hours but this time in silence. It was a lot of stares back and forth between Shawn and I, like we wanted to say something to each other but we just couldn't, then Shawn started speaking.

(Shawn) "Can I ask you something" he said in a low serious tone.

(Bey) "Go head, shoot." I said eager to know what he was going to ask?

(Shawn) "How can you determine what is love?"

(Bey) pondering on the question trying to find a suitable answer "Honestly Shawn, I don't know...." I began. "Love is tricky, you can have love for this person and then have a different type feeling for another." I said making reference to how I feel about Shawn, but I'm not sure if he got the hint.

(Shawn) "Yea. I understand. I then had my different share of girls, but i don't think i truly ever loved any of them. I mean i loved them, but i wasn't in love with them."

(Bey's Thoughts) We he gave the whole love vs in love scenario, i started to think about me and Tony and if i just loved him or if i was in love with him.

(Bey) "Well what about Aaliyah, how did you feel about her?"

I can't tell by asking that it made Shawn tense up, he started moving around in his seat.

(Shawn) looking at bey clearing his throat "Well...its like this. When I met Aaliyah it wasn't like no instant connection. But i did feel something for her and as time went on i grew to love her more than anything, but i found that i wasn't really in love with heart. My heart was feeling for something else."

(Bey) looking back at Shawn, things started to get really interesting at this point "You said your heart was feeling something else....."i said trying to help him get out what it was he was trying to say. I can't say for sure, but i kind of felt he was referring to me.

(Shawn) looks away from Bey then gets quiet, he then sighs and takes a deep breath "Look Beyonce I ha---"

Fuck, my phone started ringing. So it interrupted Shawn. When I looked to see who it was, it was Kelly. As much as I wanted to just ignore it and get back to Shawn and I's conversation I just couldn't, so I answered the phone.

(Kelly) whispering "Bey where are, Tony is here. He's looking for you?"

(Bey) thrown off guard "WHAT?!" my voice became loud. Shawn looked at me all worried.

(Shawn) "Whats wrong?" he asked.

(Bey) ignoring him "But he's not suppose to be back until morning."

(Kelly) still whispering "He said he told you that because he wanted to surprise you, he actually got back tonight."

(Bey) looking at Shawn "So what did you tell him?"

(Kelly) still whispering "I told him you were at you office working on the blue prints for house of hereon, and that I had came home early because i was tired and that i would come back in get you when you were ready?"

(Bey) "Okay well meet me at Paccino's in about 15 mins"

(Kelly) "Ok" then hangs up.

(Back at Bey's place)

(Tony) "What time is she gonna be ready?"

(Kelly) grabbing the keys and a jacket "i just talked to her, she's ready now."

(Tony) "You told her i was here"

(Kelly) lying "No"

(Tony) "Good cuz i wanna keep it a surprise, let me go get her." he said grabbing his keys and stuff.

(Kelly) trying to think fast "Uhm, no you cant"

(Tony) "And why not" getting all curious

(Kelly) "Because she's gotta take me home because i didn't drive today."

(Tony) "Well i can just drop you off then go get her."

(Kelly) still trying to think "Well it's my last night in town for a while and i really wanted to spend some time with her before i left" i said trying to pull one of bey's move.

(Tony) thinking "Well if you put it that way.....and good cuz that gives me time to set up around the house" he said winking at Kelly.

(Kelly) "Ewwww, i dont wanna hear about you plan to have sex" i said walking away towards the door.

(Tony) "Aw hush up" he joked "you act like she don't be telling you about how i put it down."

(Kelly) laughing hard "You are too nasty" i said then walked out the door.

(Back with Shawn and Bey)

(Shawn) "Whats up, whats wrong" seeing the frustration in my face.

(Bey) "It's Tony, he's back in town a couple night early"

(Shawn) becoming a little saddened by the news "Well you don't seem to excited about it?" he said trying to cover up his emotions.

(Bey) "I am, it's just, I uhm.........well" at this point i was completely lost for words. Shawn just looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. 

I was beginning to get frustrated. I was for sure Shawn was getting ready to tell me how he feels. And it seems now I will never know. With Tony back in the picture makes everything hard. When he was away, i didn't really think about him much, but only when I talked to him. My mind raced all over the place of confusion and guilt. I didn't know what to do and what to say. I told Shawn where to drop me off at. The whole ride to Paccino's was so long and awkward. Nobody said anything after that, we barely even looked at each other. When pulled up Kelly was already waiting, i hugged Shawn goodbye an then we left. When we were in the car Kelly gave the run down from top to bottom about the conversation she had went Tony, the plans. After dropping Kelly off, it took me about 20 ins to get home. My excitement about seeing Tony was at it's low. At this point i was just ready to go to bed. When i got home it was 12:15 exact. I walked in the house an their were candles and rose pedals everywhere. I dropped my keys I felt so guilty, that my fiancé went through all of this and all i could do was think about another man. I never felt so guilty in my whole life. 

(Tony) "Hey babe'' he said coming to kiss me on the forehead.

(Bey) "Hey" i said smiling trying to show that i was just excited as he was.

(Tony) "Whats wrong baby?" he asked sensing something was wrong.

(Bey) "Nothing, Im just tired thats all"

(Tony) "Why were you working so late, i thought you didn't need to do anything for the line yet. So i thought."

(Bey) "Yea, at first. But the company called today saying they needed a blue print for the line by tomorrow, so we can start the budget plan." I said lying. It killed me knowing i was lying to Tony. There  was time when I never had to lie to him and now i was.

(Tony) "Oh okay, well i missed you BB" he said pulling me towards in by my arms, hugging on me.

(Bey) "I missed you too"

(Tony) starts kissing Bey "How much did you miss me"

When Tony kissed me and started asking me questions, I already knew where he was heading too, SEX. Lords knows as much as I wanted too, i just wasn't really in the mood for it. But looking into Tony's eyes, i could see how passionate he was and how bad he wanted too. Those short kisses became long passionate kisses. Tony started caressing me and feeling all over me. I decided I would just go ahead and give in. At the least I could do for lying to him, when all he wanted to do was love and hold me. I couldn't help but to think about all the guilt i was harboring inside, the guilt of wanting another man. Tony carried me into the bedroom and laid me on the bed. And stood up and began taking off his shirt. This when things started to get crazy. As Tony laid down on top of me and I was looking at him, all I saw was Shawn. He leaned in to try to kiss me and i turned my head trying to shake the image.

(Tony) "Baby is there something wrong?" he asked al concerned.

(Bey) "No, I'm fine keep going"

On a normal day, it would have been on in popping between Tony and I, but on this night in particular I just wasn't feeling it. I tried my hardest to fake it as much as possible and i felt so terrible about it. Tony rolled over and set me on top of him. He started taking my top off and rubbing his hands up and down y back and gripping me tight on my sides. Normally this would have drove me crazy. He sat up in bed and begin kissing me, holding me tight with one arm, and holding my head with his hand. He broke from the kiss and just stared at me, then said....

(Tony) "I love you Beyonce Giselle....Tonight I just wanna make you happy" then started back kissing me.

After that I couldn't even bare to look at Tony, because it hurt me so much to know that i was making love to my soon to be husband but I kept thinking about another man. In the middle of having sex, i started crying. I couldn't hold it in any longer. Tony must have thought he made me cry because he really started going in. I was relieved that he wanted to do most of the work because i really couldn't give it my all. After we were done, Tony and I laid there for a fews moments longer, no words were said. When he feel asleep I slipped out of bed to go take a shower, despite how late it was. I felt that i needed to take a shower and just get myself together. I sat in the shower for about 30 mins just thinking about things trying to figure out situation at hand. I wish I could just talk to somebody someone who would understand me. I wish Tony wouldn't have even left that night and I wouldn't be going through this. After showering, I threw on one of Tony's t-shirt and fell asleep. I was so exhausted, I just wanted to sleep.

The next morning I woke up, I checked to see if Tony was still in bed but he was gone. I just sat there for a moment, thinking about last night from Shawn then to Tony, my mind was all over the place. I still couldn't believe the way things were happening. I went into the bathroom to freshen up. I took a nice hot shower, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and all that other stuff. When I was done in the bathroom I went into my closet to find something to wear. Today was the day of mama's Sunday dinner, i was trying to prepare myself as much as possible to be in a better mood. My mom is good for sensing out things. No sooner after i was began putting on my clothes, Tony came walking in the room. 

(Tony) "Whats up babe" looking at bey getting dress "Looking gooooood" he said while squeezing my ass.

(Bey) starts laughing "Stop, you know what that does to me." pulling up her pants.

(Tony) giving Bey that look "Hmmm well maybe I should do it again" reaching for her ass

(Bey) pushing him out the way "Stop it, you hornball" putting on her shirt.

(Tony) "Well what you want me to do when you just keep putting it out there" tries to do it again, but bey stops him again.

(Bey) "I don't know what Im gonna do with you" she said to Tony who was walking into the bathroom.

(Tony) "I can tell you a few" he said stepping back out of the bathroom.

(Bey) rolls eyes and start laughing "Anyway....Where did you this morning?"

(Tony) "I had went to meet up with coach and the trainer today, so they could see where i stand."

(Bey) "So what they say?"

(Tony) "Well they said Im good to go, ill have to sit the first 3 games out though, but i can still practice and what not."

(Bey) walking towards Tony "Aw baby thats good, I'm so happy for you. I know you been waiting for this day." she said kissing him.

(Tony) "Yes, i know" now hugging Bey, trying to have start another episode of last night.

(Bey) breaking away from him "Okay, baby go ahead and get showered because you know mama is starting dinner at 5"

(Tony) "Baby it's only 1, we got time."

(Bey) "Now you know you move slow a molasses....." she said teasing Tony.

(Tony) "shut up, you don't say that we i be on the field now do you?" he said joking back.

(Bey) "Just get your butt in the shower" she said smacking him on the butt

(Tony) "Aye man, what I tell you about that!" 

(Bey) walking out the bathroom "Payback"

(Tony) "Wait where you going, your not gonna take one with me"

(Bey) "Boy no, i just got out and I'm already dressed so your shit out of luck." i joked, closing the door to the bathroom.

(Tony) yelling through the door "THAT AINT RIGHT"

We arrived at mama's house hours later. And what would you know we got there late because of you know who.The thing about my mom with her Sunday dinners is that it's a tradition. We've been having Sunday dinner's for as long as i could remember. Mama goes back in forth between Houston and New York, because she works out of both. Back in Houston she had her own hair salon as well as in New York, but in New York most of her work is with me and Kelly. Since she was in New York, she decided to have Sunday dinner there so that's where we were headed. We we arrived there only people at the house were my mom, Solo, and my dad. Solange has been staying with my parents ever since I left, well because she was 5 years younger than me. Since she just turned 16, my parents said it was okay that she could stay with me. And i didn't mind though because i missed having my sister around me we were really close, despite the age difference. As soon as i walked in the door, Solo was the first to greet me.

(Solo) "BEEEEEEEYYYYYYY....." she said running towards me.

(Bey) "SOLOOOOOOOO......." she said hugging her.

(Solo) "Okay, so my stuff is already packed ill put it in the car before we leave..." she said jokingly but was really serious.

(Bey) "You really can't wait to get out huh"

(Solo) "Yes, you just don't understand"

They all starts laughing.

(Bey) "Hey mama, hey daddy" she said hugging both of them and kissing them on the cheek.

(Tony) walking in behind me "Hey mom..." he said going over to hug her.

(Mama Tina) "Hey my only son..." she said playfully, hugging him back.

(Mr. Knowles) reaching out to shake Tony's hand  "My man Tony macaroni!!!" his said snatching him in to hug him.

(Tony) patting Mathew on the back " My man Mat the spat" he said and they joked around for a min.

See for my dad, Tony was like the son he always wanted but never had. They were really close, so close that at times you would think that my dad loves Tony more than more, I still don't put that past him. They have nicknames for each other and do all sorts of things together. My dad was more excited than anyone including me and Tony when he found out we were getting married. He couldn't express it enough, how happy he was.

(Mr. Knowles) "Just 2 more months huh" my dad said full of excitement

(Tony) "Yea, i know, the day couldn't come fast enough."

(Solo) punches Tony in the arm "Daaaang I can't even get a hello, *sighs*......people these days" she said rolling her eyes.

(Tony) rubbing his arm "My bad, how you doing sis?"

(Solo) "Oh look who wants to talk now" she said sarcastically.

(Bey) "Where is everybody?.... it's 5:45" looking at her watch

(Mama Tina) "Well we're only waiting for Angie, Ty, and Michelle since Kelly is out of town."

(Bey) "Oh okay, well you need him with anything else, not cooking though cuz you know i can't." She said laughing

(Mama Tina) "Well Solange is setting the table, the only thing really is bring the food out and cleaning up the kitchen."

(Bey) "Okay, well i can help."

While Solange set the table, my mom and I went into the kitchen and my dad and Tony sat out in the living room and watched tv. I noticed my mom acting a little funny while i was in the kitchen with her but i didn't pay it no mind.

(Mama Tina) "So was been going on with you lately?" she asked, but not in a way to start a conversation, It was like I know something, so get to explaining type of question.

(Bey) "Oh nothing, I had a couple of shoots and spent a lot of time with Kelly." I said halfway telling the truth.

(Mama Tina) giving me a look "Oh is that right..........Well according to the tabloids you've found yourself a new piece of eye candy." she said tossing over a magazine to me with a picture of Shawn and I when we were at the mall.

(bey's thoughts) Oh great, here we go. I wasn't even thinking about Shawn and the situation until she brought it up. Now i have to hear her mouth about it and knowing my mom she's going to make a big deal out of it.

(Mama Tina) "Im waiting........" she said as if she was initiating that i could speak now.

(Bey) looking at the magazine "Look ma, before you start making assumptions it's not even like that."

(Mama Tina) "Well what is it like because the way you guys were act the party and from what Im seeing here is enough to have somebody thinking."

I instantly got frustrated, at that point i was just ready to leave.

(Mama Tina) "Now Beyonce, I didn't raise yo--"

(Bey) "Mom, if you about o give a lecture please don't" I snapped "I told you it's not what it seems like" still lying.

(Mama Tina) "I think you want to lose the attitude in you voice, I am still your mother." she started walking towards Bey.

(Bey) Trying to calm her nerves "Shawn and I are good friends, He and Tony are good friends, he asked me to work on a song with him so I did."

(Mama Tina) "Well how do you explain the night of the party and the picture."

(Bey) "The night of the party I was just having some fun, I had ran into him at the store sometime after that and THATS IT and besides you already know how the tabloids are."  she said with frustration.

By this time Angie, Michelle and Ty had all gotten here.

(Mama Tina) hearing them as they were coming in "Well if you say it's nothing then it's nothing."

(Angie) "Hey my girl" talking to Bey "Hey auntie" talking to Mama Tina.

(Bey) "Hey Ang" she said Laughin "hey michelle"

(Michelle) "Hey B" hugging her "Hey Mama Tina" she said giving her a kiss on the cheek

(Mama Tina) "Hey Ang, Hey Michelle"

(TY) walking in the kitchen "BOOOOOOOOBEEEEEEEEY......"

(Bey) smiling "Tyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

(Tony) coming in the kitchen "Ma, is everything done, Im hungry" he joked but was serious.

(Mama Tina) look over to Tony "Yea son, we can eat."

Everybody went on to eat and laughed and joked. I wasn't that into this Sunday dinner, well i was until that conversation i had with my mom.I was trying my hardest to maintain my composure when Angie and them got here. I hate having to argue with with my mom, especially when she's right. But she doesn't know the situation or understand anything I'm going through. I mean DAMN, we haven't even did shit and she's making it seem as if we did. I still can't believe the tabloids and how they took that picture so out of context. I was just hoping Tony  wouldn't find out about it and then have him all over my case. It was just something that I would have to prepare myself for when the time comes.